Definitely something wrong with me or is part and passer of life...

Today not sure felt suddenly down....
Reflect abit of here and there so found out I am person really hard to deal with.
Or maybe each of us are different so our expectation and demand are different so is ok.
I am normal?
Not sure, guess need a statistic report on human behaviour. Not sure whats my behaviour below to?
Life ok for me...
Dating with my Babe still continue and same lightly mood, which I feel ok and good.
Have I forgotten my Ex? No still not yet.
This weekend meeting my another Ex who work in Tokyo as he coming for conference meeting in Singapore. So we have a catch up to do.
He is still the same asshole, I would say! LOL..
If I not wrong, he is one of the youngest I ever date with 6yrs older than me.
I think I am gonna be crazy... or I am crazy...
Cos this moment I have a thought that there be a day I end my life myself because I am so bordom with my present life.
Is a coward move? No, I dont think so but is a move that come to a point you not sure who are you and where you belong to.
Even though, there are people out there still care and love you.
However, they are unreachable to my heart.
For those once and did reach into my heart will never did again cos they disappoint me.
So long farewell my blog..

WHINING WHINING WHINING

Last night went to book and see a Astrologer regards to my life. LOL... Am I a believer of that? Erm... just go and check out and see whats can my Star tells me thats all.
Overall, is moderate or average result. Weak in love, career, blood circulation and brain problem.
However, my Income will still remain good and substainable through out my life.

In other words, he saying though I not enjoying my career but whatever job I into, earn me a good income so I wont be poor. LOL.. thats the only good part. The rest well.. some is true.. have strong emotional power... I do had headache when my emotional get into.

I also ask him about moving out of Singapore, he say the best time move out is now till early 2015...
So maybe 2014 mid I should start preparing my CV and send out to look for overseas job. At the same time, if my dating still ongoing smoothly, I got to discuss with my Babe. See what he suggest.
Ultimately, if he cant give a good suggestion, I will just move on been alone ranger to make my decision to get out of Singapore.

Think lately, due to a gay couple who wanna abolished A377 panel laws regulation in Singapore, caused the public to aware and have negative against the abolishment. This lead to media start looking for news that give negative reflection of the gay. I not sure why?
Other Europe countries, had also news state that Homosexual is the lead to man exitinction.
Actually, is not true we gay dont want man to extinction!!! We will produce children as well if only you allow us to find surrogate mother!!!

There are thought coming to my head also want to challenge my goverment or put out to the public.
If I married a girl that I dont love at all, I just want to have own children. Is it fair to the girl?
If I dont married, I cant have children because goverment dont allow surrogate. Is it fair to me that you blame me the extinction or never want to help the country population growth.
Tell me what should be the right way!!
Forgot about telling me to turn my life straight! Is a fact that gay exist and no way can a gay turn his sexual orientation striaght. Bi-sexual I believe but is the worst and not faithful to either sexual partner unless both partners dont mind having sharing and into 3some.

Thats all folks!

Maybe this can be a story to write...

Having my lunch break and suddenly a thought came into my mind.
What's thought had came into my mind?
Writing a story based on my last relationship with some twist LOL...
Yes, a love story see if anyone here ever really read it and not sure is it a long or short story.
Definitely, wont review my X sweetie real name. If he found out I used his full name, guess I be totally got hated by him.. Which I think not bad LOL.. as that mean him remember me all his life.
Anyway, I change him to her and so is his name.
It wont be a gay story but a normal love story.. ermm.... interesting....
So when I start writing erm... not sure... almost forget to tell you.
The rest of the character include me will be using actual person name.
Hahahaha.....
So is half true half false story.....
Good luck!!!

Lost or should say Down sydrome again

Few days ago, had quarrel with my X sweetie. I really dont understand why he always reply me so late or sometime dont reply to my question. It really make me annoyed... that I shut him off by sending him how pissed I am that he shut me off!!!
On the other hand, why am get so tense and stress up when dealing with my X sweetie? Yes, I still Love him... this old man 61yr old.. I still fucking love him!!! 
Ok.. I still had a date, Babe, not to forget and yes we still dating as normal. He been away for two weeks to Melbourne business trip. He did text me almost everyday, but not the past 2 days cos he sick. Is he really sick or maybe bored of me.. I not sure.Well, I just let it flow, if my Babe really like me, he wont run away or leave me. As what many people say, when love come in, no matter how you block it, it will still break through and come to you.

Life!!! Now I getting bored with my life again.. not sure what am I supposed to do.... Coming to 31yo, still living with parents. Cant afford to bought a house, renting a house outside is crazy as so expensive. My savings not much either only about 20k the most, career wise is just a piece of job that sufficient to earn me living and clear my debts. I short of life achievement content!!!! I missed that in my life I supposed... Feel emptied feel emptied.........

However, SEX SEX SEX LOVE LOVE LOVE FLIRT FLIRT FLIRT still in my mind!!!!
WAITING FOR A PERFECT IDEAL HUSBAND TO FILL THOSE UP FOR ME...

New Red String with normal mood... Have I change? Or I finally meet the right man?

Up to now since end of July 2013, I am fully "Cure" LOL.. or get away from Facebook!! LOL...
Alright, back to life.. nothing much changes in my family and working life.
Love wise, yes... I know is kind of fast... LOL... even I dont believe.

A part of me still think of X sweetie and to this new aussie man, Babe, I not sure about my feeling to him. However, I found him a good respond man to me. He really in love or like me crazy..which I dont know why.. He can keep whatsapp me, sms me, every day every morning , noon and night. Thats also include if he away to Bali, or Melbourne for holiday and work. He also even call me just want to hear my voice. What he had done is totally what I had done before for my X sweetie.

Is abvious and fact that he like me more than I like him. I also had come to a conclusion too for him.
I just go ahead with him, my Babe. Is time for me to try and be with someone who like me more than I like him. See whats the outcome, beside we are not into really a long distance relationship because he live here and had work business here. However, once every three months or any moment he need to fly away few days for his work business. Even if we doesnt work out, I have no hard feelings for it.
As to be honest, I like him but not as strong as my X sweetie. Or maybe I had change in such that I take relationship lightly now and not so dominate? so possesive?

Lastly, my babe looks like Alec Balwin LOL....

Last day of August 2013

Been busy with my work... and finally completed most of my task... Yippie :)
Last week, catch up with my buddy, Kars, he still look the same and not much changes.
We had lunch and chatted about for the past 6mths what happen and hows my Turkey trip.
He also update me about himself and got news that last few weeks, he had sudden pain in his stomach and admitted to hospital. The doctor found stones in his kidney and a total of 3. One was removed on the week he admiited, the other two he be going for small surgery next two weeks. No wonder, he looks bit pale, but he still my buddy and a great buddy :). So hope everything is ok for him and ask him to update me his status.

Yes, lately this new Aussie man been texting me, yes I do like him but dont have to strong feelings yet. This is due to I still holding bit feelings of my X and my Ex and other Ex-es LOL.. or afraid of getting hurts and disappointment. However, yes this man bit different from others is he keep texting me everyday!!! Which I did enjoyed so far, because remember I born in dog year as well so need ATTENTION LOL...
But one thing I dislike him was making silly joke... That play my feelings which I really dislike that I play him back another silly joke that he went cranky with me. So I told him if you want me stop thinking silly, then dont make silly statement or joke to me.
Not sure if we really go deep what will happen? Will it be same as my last X? After 3 months giveup and raise white flag? Not sure I dont have crystal balls to see future.. So let the stream flows and see how.. Remember I dont want to chase pple anymore and this time is that Aussie man chase me. So I been doing slacking and passive instead of active.

Thats all folks!!! Still had no time to prepare for Will Birthday Present!!! SHIT!!!!

28th August 2013... Funny... Weird... Dark side.... Dream...

Supposed to go gym at 710am but thanks to my Cashcard (Carpark card), I happen to place in my car small compartment and it drop out from the compartment... Making me search for it 20mins....
So decided to go office early and start... BLOGGING.. LOL... not working...(Not that hard working)

Well, last few nights I have encounter many stupid weird dreams LOL...
Like last Saturday night (Sunday Morning), I dream I was in Bali, so thought of dropping by my X sweetie house and say hello to him. His gate was not lock so I able to go upstair and found him sleeping with another boy.
So I decided to knock on the wall and go down wait for him. My X sweetie came down and surprise to see me, we have a chat and later told me his boy or boyfriend dont like to come down and meet me. So I say is ok and I gonna leave. Before I left the place, supposed to be a goodbye kiss to my X Sweetie, we ended having a deep kiss (Wet kiss) for quite long which I was surprise that I woke up from the dreams. I not sure what the dreams mean but I was happy that I strong now that even I seen him with another guy (boy) I am fine and accepted. :)

Then again on Sunday night (Monday Morning)!!! I dream I was in a big Theme Park with lot of people at night. I heard people crying, panic, and heard that they say we need to get out from here because the Evil Samurai demon be coming out at night to this park and killed people. Then the park start screaming  like chaos, with police car and ambulance running around the park and I follow the crowd running around to get out. Then I decided to hide and heard many screaming again so I decided to make a call to my X sweetie before I got kill. I start looking for his number on my phonebook but seem like the not in the list then while scrolling and looking I been killed and I also woke up from this dream.
Weird huh!!! Yes, I remember I did mention to my X sweetie, that before I die I will call him.. but surprise that I cant find his number in my phone list.. Whats that mean?

Hope this is the last weird dreams with my X sweetie, the third dreams was happen on Monday night (Tuesday Morning), I dream I was having some problems with some stuff which I cant remember and was frustrated and sitting on my room bed. Then I saw my X sweetie was arranging my clothes in my spare room which I normally hang my clothes there to dry and ready to be wear for work. He came over to me and say I got something to tell you. I say ok what you wanna tell me? He say he had know this new guy(boy) while we decided to start the relationship. I reply him ok and I wake up from the dream.

So isnt it funny!!! Almost 3 consecutive night dream of my X sweetie!!!  Did told my best friend, Will and Stephanie. Will say he dont want to speculate and Stephanie say this show that I have move on and live my life without him. Is that truth? LOL... Not sure, and I can say I didnt watch horror or funny movie, animation or read horror, funny story before I sleep. Except watching porn and reading porn stories to jerk off.. which I dont think porn will lead to those dreams...
I think maybe on surface and logic I am cleared, move on and sure whatever my X sweetie is been with I am fine and we just normal friends, even though I still love him. However, my subconsious which is my dark emo side, control my mind during my resting trying to invade my mind and make me go dark..(I hope you know what I mean)... But... think this time my LOGIC won HURRAY!!!!
As I didnt stupidity go confront my X sweetie. I only share with close friends about this dreams and only tell my X sweetie I had a weird dreams but he dont bother to hear it!! So i dont care either.

Now.. what interesting is usually I single and go overseas I switch on back all my gay social apps, include website and mobile. So after I came back from Turkey, I log in to gaydar.co.uk to check messages before I call it a day. The message I send had some reply and thats how I got to know this Melbourne man... (Hahaha... another Aussie man). As far as my concern, I not going to jump into another love well again.. Please..... for god sake.. Yann.. behave!!!! We been texting lately so as and when he will msg me and is everyday and night. Even now he is in BALI having holiday!!! But then...my X sweetie also did text me before we started a relationship when he was in Thailand. So who knows this Melbourne man, still havent see my true colors like my X sweetie hahahhaa... after know me he may stopped and run away!!!! Hahahaha......
Oh yes... I got addressing name now.. last time is Gorgeous boyo.. now I have someone address me Cutie!!! LOL... thats someone is my Babe...

Anyway... my door is shut but my garden gate is open for many seeds to be throw in my garden and see which one can grow beautiful flower but then beautiful flower (Outlook) is not important because they must bear the fruits as well which give a happy ending story!!!