New Year Eve 2012

Hey all haha... surprisly I didn't go to the pub and get laid. I stick with my small group of straight friends to karaoke and celebrate New Year 2012.
Guess 2012 is a year for me to turn clean normal white sheet.

Yup no more local gay pub, bar, sauana( which had not visited for 4 years) and gay social app in my iphone.

Happy New Year 2012. Start to love you 2012.

Yann

31st Dec 2011... END of the year 2011

Horay!!!! 2011 is ending soon!!! SUCKER!!!  What a SHIT Year and yet have to love it as without it I wouldnt wait to love 2012 and others more!!!

So almost forget I havent get a real photo shoot album for myself this year 2011, so call out friends immediately to arrange. But those professional and good one are not free and able to make it, ended I ask a very free friend (my Secondary school classmate) to help me take using my normal camera. As I not being working for 6mths (1mth in a small shipbuilding company cant consider as I pay back the salary to the job agency), so we meet at orchard road. Had used my iphone to draw out simple sketches for him to tell him what I want the pic like. However, I didnt know his hand were very shaking... I joke to him as if he had masturbate too much and frequent. All the picture he took of me were shaking, even I stopped moving and stand still. Well, ended up took many but only a few I keep and do heavy editing on it. Anyway, still thank him and also thank him to tell me how to create timeline for my facebook.

I've being cooking dinner for my family lately, if you saw my facebook, uploading the dishes I cooked. A few times, I dont know why my mum make a big fuss of it, like small little things example today I cook traditional Chinese soup "Bak Kut Teh", and I found out our house has no dark soya sauce, so I went out and bought a small bottle. What happen next was when my mum back, she didnt say much positive words for my soup but scream (bitch) of why I bought the dark soya sauce and bla bla saying she had in the kitchen cupboard, which I found was not and the other bottles stated "Sweet Soya Sauce and Caramel Sauce" which is not "Dark Soya Sauce" I really cant stand her... but I tell myself, "Hey thats your mother and think you only have 6 more years to go and live with her, so just try to let her be and make her happy" .

Lately, been intensively using Iphone gay social app  hahaha.. I love and enjoying seeing many cute white bear and on the other hand make me sad as well. Not because I gonna delete them by tonight after 2359hrs, is all the white bears lived far away from me :(.  So somehow or rather, 6 years down the road I more like to move out of Singapore than just moving out from my parents and still lived in Singapore. And surprisely, my preference of chosing Australia to move in and change to America (US), like all other hollywood movies hahaha... I too join them to have the America Dreams... getting the Green Card. LOL...

6 years not too short and not too long, got to work hard on my career and wealth if you want things to happen and chase after your dreams :). Almost forgotten, tonight will go to a local gay bar for the last time and hope to hit a white bear to celebrate New Year Eve.Thats all folks!

25th Dec 2011

Last night was at a chalet for the Christmas Poly-mates Gathering Party, overall was fine and good. Except for the last night which is Christmas Eve kind of screwed up, as before 12mid-night almost everybody went off to home early. I was not quite happy about it, as I am the head of the organizer but I had done from organizer, gathering, treasury, till making it happen and hope the cleaning part will be altogether. But in reality is no, so decided to called the rest clean up and go back home, no need to stay
till 25th Dec morning.

Was happy and delighted to receive Christmas greeting messages from around the world. Really, thanks to Apple's Iphone, making communication easy and accessible. Had received greeting from Rich, Kars, Mel, Brian (UK), JJ, Stuart, Terry, Chuck and Will. Miss you guys and thanks again for the greeting.

Thats all nothing much but to read out my new job documents while waiting for the New Year Day 2012 comes.

Merry X Mas
Yann

Christmas Love Song

Well, didnt expect I really composed a Christmas Love Song this year and tonight.
I would say this song is better than those I composed previously if any of you heard before... LOL...
Bear with me if you dont like, give a pet or smile if you like and encourage my master piece :)

Christmas Love Song To My Dearest You. - Written and Composed by Yann Cheong

Shalala Shalala I wishing you a merry Christmas

Oh Shalala Shalala I singing Christmas love song to my dearest you.

Sorry baby, I can’t be there for you

But please remember my love is with you

Distance was not the reason for not been there with you.

Rather the things that I caught now caused me unreachable to you.

Please believe in my love to you

I were have same believe as you

There will be a year, we were spend the Christmas together

Now listen to this song, I’m singing to you

Shalala Shalala I wishing you a merry Christmas

Oh Shalala Shalala I singing Christmas love song to my dearest you.

Maybe you should start thinking

If I am here what we were be doing

I can tell you right now, I will hold you tightly.

Kissing you deeply and hugging you warmly.

Spend the whole night tell you how much I love you.

Please believe in my love to you

I were have same believe as you

There will be a year, we were spend the Christmas together

Now listen to this song that I’m singing to you

Shalala Shalala I wishing you a merry Christmas

Oh Shalala Shalala I singing Christmas love song to my dearest you.

Shalala Shalala wishing you a merry Christmas

Oh Shalala Shalala I singing Christmas love song to my dearest you.

Ended sitting at Millenia Walk food court... Looking at Conrad through the window.

Gonna meet an old friend and say farewell to him. Thanks 2011, how many good friends you want to take away from me? He going back to Bangkok for good, guess he had enough of Singapore. Meeting him at Suntec City 8pm, so went out early wandering mall to another and rest in between to start reading my job assignment materials with my ipad2. My last rest stop ended sitting at the Millenia Walk food court having my old traditional Asian coffee. Look out from the side of the window, I can see the Conrad Hotel which remind me of my last ex-bf, Neil.

Wonder how is he now? Must be enjoying his love life, yeah must be... Seeing his present love one when he is still dating with me. How sincere is he! Remember back then, I thought we met each other was a no string attached fun, but he persistently wanted to date me even if we are far apart and saying how much he love me and bla bla and distances is not a matter. In fact, it is a matter, and sadly he went out seeing other when i was alone been good in the no man fun life land, Middle East Country, staying 80km away from the main city.

Anyway, after I broke off with him, I went outburst to fool around in the Middle East. Though is danger but I wasn't really care and thought much of it. After all, I using that to heal my pain. You may think is silly and foolish, but this is me. When I arrived back home Singapore for good, I deleted all his email which I save in my desktop, left only few pics of him, a card and a tissue paper with a pen written "I miss you" which he left me before he departed to Tokyo to work. Next month, I gonna join the Japanese company and had a will go Japan for a month training, should I send him back all his thing s that he given to me?

Am I such an asshole? Lol... Seriously, I got over the love thing with him but just dislike and hate the cheating feelings....

Haha... What a Joke.. and this Joke cause me to lost a friend.. LOL...

Remember the one that I mentioned, United State Bear, Carter, which I hit it with a headshot to my surprised!!! Well, well, out of curiousity, I went to check if he had a facebook profile and guess what I found?

Yes, he did had but he is a fucking popular military officer in the United State and was married with a woman. There are few couple of facebook profile under his full name and did click and browse in. There are numbers of female comments on the wall asking him if he really did send and contact them through emails and the messages. I also open my gaydar.co and check the messages I received from him. The profile of him is no longer exist. So it gonna be a SCAM, I bet!!!!

Wow... I now laughing and telling myself, I know I not a sharp shooter nor a sniper in the forest at all. So now I dont feel kind of sorry to this guy who is so persistent in chasing after me and luckily I didnt send him my home address as he say he gonna send me gift? (Could be a trap, using my address to do some illegal stuff) and gonna tell me a secret?? (Secret is he is married?) Anyway, I cant be bother!!!
I really a tortise from the mountain.. Yes, people reading this post can keep laughing at me... If only I know the United States celebrities and famous people well, I would have know is a scam.

And thanks to this SCAM person, I lost my Canadian bear, Homeboi, and had told him many times in What'sapp, that the SCAM person is impossible, he just give up and not even continue as friends. If only he know why am I telling him about what I do and who I met, so he would advise and worried for me. I missed chatting with him. I believe he enjoyed chatting with me too but he wouldnt know this person I mentioned to him is a SCAM. As my Canadian bear, had decided not to follow my blog anymore. :(

Ok, to let you people know and stop letting you wondering who is the SCAM person name, his called himself "LT GENERAL CARTER HAM".. and stop laughing LOL....

Just write and compose a new song "RE-START"

It was just a normal afternoon and suddenly feel wanna compose a material out and here is my own song that I compose;

RE-START

If god grant me a wish

I will wish we doesn’t know one another.

If I have a time machine

I will go back and change the time we met each other.

Because I'm in pain and I know you do too got hurt as well.

Although we made mistake, is alright let’s move on.

Due to being foolish, and I know you felt the same as well.

However, we still need to live our lives go on and on and on....

So why don’t we shake our hand, give a smile.

“Hello, how do you do”

Let’s re-start; start as friend and nothing more say

“I am fine”

And carry on don’t stop there, because we no more stranger anymore......  

Christmas and New Year is coming!!!!!

Well.. well... what we got here... :) Just received an email from the States Bear, Carter, that he will update me whether is he coming to visit me or not while right now he is at the war zone in the middle east. He also ask for my home address as he want to send me a Christmas gift. And yet again I politely reply to him to send the gift to other needy, people whom lived in poor middle east area or someone in the States whom worried and missing him so much. I am just a new friend he make online and don't put me high hope of thinking I will be his life long partner. Yet, I still don't know whether if he really get what I mean from those emails I send, so been emphasizing to him as friends when reply him back. So hopefully he get it.

Christmas is coming... Had make planned for the holiday, I not a christian but making used of this holiday season to book a chalet on 23 Dec to 25 Dec 2011 and gather small group of friends BBQ on 24th Dec. 2011. It was initiate by one of my poly-mate and somehow I become the organizer and the treasurer to gather people, collect money and purchased the food and appliances for the event. The last time we had this gathering was 2009 as 2010 I was working in overseas and none of my poly-mate doing this gathering event. I can say I like the center of  all the group contacts, without me they wont unite or bother to meet up (or I guess only LOL)... So what and where did I spend my Christmas 2010? I was spending my time in Qatar and working.... so nothing to happy to look back at..(Friendly, speaking none of the Christmas have ever make me unforgettable.. is just another holiday.. LOL... )

After sending off the Santa Claus, and is the New year time... I swear I will put my status on facebook with this sentences;

" Fuck you and thank you 2011,  for been letting me experiencing the darkest moment in my life so far. Welcome my love 2012, and hope you wont disappoint me and lets make more happy great moment of time through the year."

Yup, think that's the sentences, I gonna put on when New Year Day 2012 arrived. Well, I didn't make any planned for the coming New Year Eve celebration yet. The last New Year 2011, celebration I had was having holiday at Abu Dhabi, UAE, with my working colleague. Clean sheet, no hanky panky or getting laid with someone. Maybe because of that my 2011 is shit and screw up because didn't screw a guy. LOL...
I remember New Year 2010 Eve, I was with my straight couple friends went to Backstage (A gay bar) to welcome New Year 2010. I hunt down a German bear, Richard, give him my 1st kiss in 2010 and after celebrate the New Year Day, I said good bye to the couple and went back to Richard place to get laid. LOL.... It was a fantastic night. Of course, Richard, was not just a one night stand, we did meet up after that and nearly get attached.
However, I was  focusing on my study and I not also not able to fulfill his expectation as a boyfriend of his. As he expect me to move in and live with him at least 3 or 4 days a week, which I couldn't due to my parents (Traditional Chinese Asian culture or should say my family culture.. and don't want to make a big scene out of it, just want to keep away from troublesome). So that the reasons, we didn't become one happy couple.
Anyway, he is now I supposed happily attached with an Asian Chinese boy who just out of the army and living with him. (Please don't ask me why both same Asian people and why the boy can do and I can't? The reason as I mentioned, I don't want to put a fight with my parents. They are old enough and I believe no one would like to see family quarrel). Yes, you may say so forever I will be stuck living with my parents? The answer of course is NO, right now I focusing on my career and once I can see my path of success in the mid way at age 35(The earliest age I supposed), Wowhoo..., can planned either bought an own flat apartment, move out of my parents house and live alone waiting for the Mr. Right bear. Or I can planned to move out of Singapore to live my own life. So I must success and can't failed.. else I forever stuck there and be trapped I supposed.....

Anyway, for the upcoming New Year 2012 eve, LOL... most probably will be go to the gay bar, hunt down a bear, to his place and get laid, screw the bear for a good start 2012. LOL.... So who will be the LUCKY BEAR!!!!!!

Success!!

Just 2 days ago, my good friend and also buddy, Ari, send me a text message. He said there are two things that define SUCCESS in life;

" SUCCESS in life: The way you manage when you have nothing and the way you behave when you have everything."

He send me this text message because when I got my dream job contract signed, I send an email to inform him. I want to be a successful person like him and Will, another good friend of mine. Why he?
He is one of top and well known business man in his country (East Europe), and had appeared in the his country media and magazine. Isn't he successful in his career? Maybe to himself, he had another criteria or requirement to call himself SUCCESS. But I as an outsider, I say he is and I wanted to be like him one day. I remember telling him during our last meeting with him, which he gave me a graduation present to Sweden for holiday for achieving 1st Class Hons, I told him one day I want him to look at my back as I had enough of his back facing me. If I cant do that, at least stand side by side with him. :) I still have long way to go..... but never give it up yet :)

I havent fully understand the sentences that he quote to me, I guess is a general term in whatever we do but I know I will figured it out one day as long as I keep working on my career and going after my SUCCESS.

You must have a broken heart

Guess was too relaxed and happy that I got the contract signed that I didnt update my blog. Thought I won't write any sad stuff over here, I was wrong. Just a few days back, I hunt down a Canadian Bear in the forest, the bear called Homeboi. As I said previously, I dont have high hope for long distance relationship and thus I didnt went serious taking care of the bear. I continue do my usual bear hunting at the same time, regularly come and feed the Homeboi. The time I spend with Homeboi, was enjoyable and happy. I believe he enjoyed my lovely sweet chat company as well as I always do to people I like.
We both also thanks Steve Job, for creating Iphone to make us closer and had make communication easy and accessible. Till the day before, somehow, I got a headshot of a bear from States, a trained Military General bear, called Carter. This bear came approached me, I just been do my usual normal firing and didnt expect to had a headshot of him. He send me an email of his contact and I respond to him as well. The 2nd email he sent to me was telling me about his background and the kind of love he looking for and believe.

"I want a happy life with true Love because it's good to love someone and that person loves you back the same way."

I replied to him and agree with him but however I focusing on my career now and also quoted back the kind of love I believe.

"If he is for you he is meant for you, no matter how you treat him or missed him as long as you did love him, he is always been there waiting for you because he is waiting for your attention through out his life as his love toward you is lifetime and time doesnt change his love towards you."
I had read my quote to my very good sister, Steph, today. Her feed back to me was, are you writing a marriage vow? Her reply make me think if my quote is too romatic, childish, or sweet?

Anyway, this bear, Carter, have intention of coming to visit Singapore Rainforest. I am always happy to welcome bear visit me in Singapore, but I have fear of this bear. We were chatting online 2 days ago, he wanted me to be his lover, and want me to stick with him be a true and the lover that he want. He emphasis  that I must not cheated on him and he be nice and take care of me. My fear arised the more he chatted to me but how much he wants me and how life gonna be when we together. I only knew him for 2 or 3 days, to be honest, not even really knew him at all. We just exchange email for twice only and 10mins of chatting, he had considered me as a lover. Thats remind me of Nicholas from Melbourne, my ex-date (but JJ always say is my lovely BF), a very dominant, possessive, control man. I not into this type of guy, yes physically he is the kind of bear I like but personality no. I would suffered and had my life with fear. I dont like my life to be control, if we really love each other a mutual undestanding will build up and each other will know how to give and take, would not control each other life. Because the life is not just one person anymore, is two person living together life, so none of one can't take the whole control of it. Is there anyone understand? Did I make my words cleared? Or maybe I'm wrong? This is my thought I will stick with that unless during my learning life I learn and find out something different and I will change my thought again.

After the convesation with Carter, I asked him if he read my last email that I focusing my career. He told me didnt and will read later once he back home. So I told him better read before you make any decision. Today is the 2nd day, I did not received any email from him so guess, he get my meaning, I am not the guy that he expecting to be. During the chat, I told him, he is looking for someone that want to settle down now with him and that guy is not me.

Immediately, I share this news to my Canadian bear, homeboi, he get pissed off and send me regards and blessing that a bear is coming to me. He even started to reply me with words that is not usual him and cut me off suddenly. Later a while, he told me the truth that he had put all his heart and time for me during the last few days. I finally realised that he had been really serious about me, and due to my loss of confidence or believe in long distance relationship I didnt really had thought of his feelings. I am to blame, if I knew and realised early I would have chat and approach him in another way. We later did talk about it again, however I somehow make it worst. I know he is trying hard to convince me to believe in it, but I still dont accept it. Maybe, we didnt know each other long enough or maybe I really loss hope and give up on it due to my last 2 long distance relationship is a failure. Ended I told him similar things that what JJ had told me before, to believe that Canada had good Asian Hunter to take care of him, the chances is slim but if you believe it, it will happen. I do love homeboi but we both are far apart, we have to accept it. However, Homeboi denied my love towards him, he believe if you really love that person you wont ask that person to leave. But he forgotten and dont understand my last message I send to him, "He need to update me regularly of his status". He did re-read the message, but he wont update me, because he say there no point and no meaning of it. Even I insist, he refused, and he even told me he wont read my blog again from now on. Will we still keep in contact, he say will but not now will be a long while.

I guess only some may or may not understand why I request him a must to update me his status?
In year 1999, Aaron Kwok come out with an EP album, one of the song I heard it and find one sentences very meaningful.

"爱我不一地要永远拥有我，人生从从烦脑以经太多，最为大的爱情是让对方过的快乐，最好你完记，你完记了我。"
Thus, thats what I doing to Homeboi, however, to make sure he is had really found a love one and happily living. I need to know his status. Hence, I demand him to update me, who knows if one day he still havent found his love and living happily and I have achieved my success, I will come to him and give him the happiness that he is searching all these years.

At that same night, after Homeboi shut me off, I feel sad and I really thought he can be someone like JJ, a very very close person that I can talk to and support whenever I need. As JJ always there for me, support me, give me attention when I need, been sweet to each other, leting me be who am I as he accepted who am I. The only difference with JJ and Homeboi was, my relationship with JJ were up to only close friend or family's brother and nothing more. For Homeboi isnt, Homeboi can be my lover/partner one day. I text to JJ that I was wrong, to believe there can other person in my life like him very very close person, but I was wrong, there can only be one and thats JJ and thank him for having him in part of my life.


Also last few days, my good sister, Steph, was having a hard and sad time. She cut off the ropes finally because she tired of figuring how to untie the knot of the rope. I dont want to go to the details, but is bit similar to Homeboi and I. Just that her's is really in a serious relationship which they had been together happily in Qatar for a year. Details of her story, I not going to share or put, it is her story not mine. However, when she cut off the rope alone at Korea, she called me and cried on the phone. I always thought that she is a strong and tough girl, still a girl is a girl when heart broken tears will fall.
I told her on the phone, dont think too much, go had an early rest, tomorrow start shopping think of what to buy and dont think of the rope again. Last night she came back from Korea, and I met her for dinner today, to make sure she is alright and also share with her my story with the bears. She also throw me a question regards to JJ, What I love about JJ? I told her, he is nice, sweet, good guy and always there for me and most importantly is he dont change me, he accept who am I. She told me when someone ask her about her the other, she cant answer. We still chatted other stuff regards to her, but is secret lol... Ladies secret gardens.

And is being very long time, I came across a girl cried on the other side of the phone and talking to me. The last time was 1999 with my very close female classmate Miss Teo, thanks to a hippocrypte guy, Pimple Face, who create lies story that break my frienship with her, because she rejected him and he cursed her for her failure for being arrogant and stated my name too, which I had no ideal why he did that. What happen was she really did badly for her 'O' level and she re take her 'O' level again. However, my friendship with her was re-unite and cleared, as we open up to each other to speak and find out the truth. As for the Pimple Face, he didnt just ruin my friendship with her, he also went to ruin other classmates, and our small group of friends had concluded him as Hippocrypte guy so his name had change from Pimple Face to Hippocrypte.

The day I have some piece of mind

Yahoo.... Finally, get the new employee contract signed and work as a ship class surveyor been pursuing since I graduated from university. And that will be my career that I be committed to work for long looking at 5 years witht the Japanese company. So therefore, I able to enjoyed bit of own time by meeting my study mates from my university for small gathering.

So one thing had been solve, still have others stuff to solve. Like need to control my expenses for this month so not to overspend, the money I borrow from my mum how do I pay when I get my salary once I started the job and how do I pay off my study debt for my polytechnic study. So now more focus on finance issued.

Another great news is, I hunt down a home bear from Canada in one of their forest.. Maybe the forest from the Twighlight Saga.. LOL... Well, didnt expect from a fling friend to become closer than that. Didnt had high hope for long distance, but cherish and enjoyed the moments with "Homeboi" (Is JJ getting jealous... Is he or is not... maybe I been thinking too much again). Anyway, nobody will know what happen in the end of our future. But one thing I learn is, why do people living far away from you, caring and loving you so much than people who living near you. Even I myself couldnt understand and find reason for it. Example, I living with my parents, but did I spend more time with them and caring loving them? The answer is NO. But strangely when I was away working in middle east, Qatar, I phone my mum every Friday and talk to her more show my care and concern to her. Did you came across situation like this or do you feel the same thought with me?

Nevetheless, today is the day I should be happy and happy and happy. Looking forward next year Jan 2012.. a challenging year for me that I must not failed this time. :)