Holloween Day!!!! I will put this date as a scary date for me.... why? I quit my job in J Company and had to been cheated by a liar agent who told me I required to work for a month will do and resigned without any payment. The truth is I have to pay the penalty, as the director over ruined him and stated based on the email contract which is a trapped where no signature is required but still enforce.
And so lucky that this month salary did not bank into my account, as J Company HR dept bank to the wrong account. UOB account had 10 digits, they should know and she missed the number 5 of the fifth digits.
Lastly, is didn't I say my dad is dead! They should have listened to me as now that lady bitch starts calling my house again and make my mum go crazy with worries and sadness. What is it happening!!!.
Looking forward 11th Nov. 2011 and not my birthday 8th Nov. 2011, that the end of my relationship with J company and move on to a brighter and good company with my positive attitude and energy. Forget what happened during the whole of October and early November 2011.
Monday, 31 October 2011
Saturday, 22 October 2011
Please stop taking away what I used to have in my life....
Was having a piece of shocking news that one of my favourite boyband, Westlife, split which had announced in 19 Oct 2011. I am very sad to hear bout it (No tears), been listen to their music since I was 18yo and soon be 29yo next month. Their first song hit me was not "Swear It Again" but "Fool Again". Well, cause it reminds me of my secondary school female classmate who I used to secretly like her but later find out that she playing my feelings as a friend. She caught my attention when we were in Secondary 3 while I was focus on writing some report. She literally took my left hand and draw a Baby G watch... And when I ask her why she did that, she gives me an innocent smile and that strike my heart. LOL... Not only that, but I also started receiving Christmas card from her till Secondary 5 it stopped. Secondary 5 having our O level, start to hear from my other classmate that in her heart she actually dislike me, she close to you just for a moment of joy. I even had a close female classmate, which is also a close friend of her, told me bout the rumours is true she doesn't like me at all. So all these 2 -3yrs she was just making fun of my feeling for entertainment or maybe female like to make fun of guys. Anywhere, there are more I did for her but no point talking bout it. Female is not my cup of tea anymore.. (hahaha.. I am such a bitch!).
So back to Westlife, after knowing their split. I went online and make a pre-order of the exclusive greatest hitbox set but missed the one with their signature. It was sold out.. 500 copies.. sold out... why not 1000 copies? or 500 copies each for a country! And this shocking news, somehow makes my mind lead to those events happen this year 2011. I feel a lot of things had been taken away this year, 2 good friends of mine had moved to lived in another country and 1 good friend kind of kept a distance with me though we still keep in touch by SMS, our friendship not close anymore.. something must have gone wrong. My granny left me.. I still sad and cry whenever I thought of her. In addition, for the past few days, I dreamt of her 3 times. I lost the job that I like... referring to Qatar but the pay is still a problem for me even though I enjoy the work.. LOL... , lost a good opportunity to be DNV class surveyor as I screw up because of asking if can I came back halfway the overseas training course due to my granny condition. So hope I got the job for NK surveyor trainee which I been waiting now, result be out the end of the month or early Nov 2011.
Did gain few bit, like finally got a job. But a job which I dont like and enjoyed. Have start acting like a robot, working without compassion. So dont think my career will advance far if I stay on and continue like this. Well, we see how it goes... (throwing all hope to the job offer from NK surveyor trainee). Still like to hang out late, as go back home early there's no bear lover waiting for me to hug and tug on his chest.... so loiter around the street and sing song that I just composed or mixed out.
Thats all... Please stop taking away things and start giving me what I chasing after.... Thanks!!! :)
So back to Westlife, after knowing their split. I went online and make a pre-order of the exclusive greatest hitbox set but missed the one with their signature. It was sold out.. 500 copies.. sold out... why not 1000 copies? or 500 copies each for a country! And this shocking news, somehow makes my mind lead to those events happen this year 2011. I feel a lot of things had been taken away this year, 2 good friends of mine had moved to lived in another country and 1 good friend kind of kept a distance with me though we still keep in touch by SMS, our friendship not close anymore.. something must have gone wrong. My granny left me.. I still sad and cry whenever I thought of her. In addition, for the past few days, I dreamt of her 3 times. I lost the job that I like... referring to Qatar but the pay is still a problem for me even though I enjoy the work.. LOL... , lost a good opportunity to be DNV class surveyor as I screw up because of asking if can I came back halfway the overseas training course due to my granny condition. So hope I got the job for NK surveyor trainee which I been waiting now, result be out the end of the month or early Nov 2011.
Did gain few bit, like finally got a job. But a job which I dont like and enjoyed. Have start acting like a robot, working without compassion. So dont think my career will advance far if I stay on and continue like this. Well, we see how it goes... (throwing all hope to the job offer from NK surveyor trainee). Still like to hang out late, as go back home early there's no bear lover waiting for me to hug and tug on his chest.... so loiter around the street and sing song that I just composed or mixed out.
Thats all... Please stop taking away things and start giving me what I chasing after.... Thanks!!! :)
Friday, 14 October 2011
Many thoughts today
Yesterday on my way to work... I start thinking for the past 2 nights I dream of my granny who just passed away about a month ago. Wondering why I didn't ask her how is she doing over there? Has she known I miss her? Did she know I kind of depressed?
I really had no idea what is my job scope and what am I doing in that company. I feel I can't contribute anything to the company and it affects my salary which I feel is kind of low as well as career advancement. Will work for one month and see how it goes.
That Surveyor company please help... offer me, please!!!!! I need you very badly...
Was so bored with my job and is Friday, so ring out my after buddy, Bert, who will not fall in love with me even the world left only me. He is just like Jj or both the same, can be a good friend but no more further than that. We went to watch "What is your number", is a funny love comedy. Anyway, the movie did touch about been myself been what you are and not what people want you or you want to make yourself so that people can accept you. Yes, saying it is easy but doing it takes times and sometimes you don't realise that you are not yourself which I think I always forget. Another thought which came from the movie is dream, goal and marriage. I was wondering will I ever able to get married to a man I love and live with him happily. Is that possible in my future? And will I able to have my own child which required me to find a surrogate mother or female friends or friend sister or any female who willingly wanna help me to conceive a child for me?
As I thinking about all these, it is 3.00AM, Saturday... I should be asleep now....
I really had no idea what is my job scope and what am I doing in that company. I feel I can't contribute anything to the company and it affects my salary which I feel is kind of low as well as career advancement. Will work for one month and see how it goes.
That Surveyor company please help... offer me, please!!!!! I need you very badly...
Was so bored with my job and is Friday, so ring out my after buddy, Bert, who will not fall in love with me even the world left only me. He is just like Jj or both the same, can be a good friend but no more further than that. We went to watch "What is your number", is a funny love comedy. Anyway, the movie did touch about been myself been what you are and not what people want you or you want to make yourself so that people can accept you. Yes, saying it is easy but doing it takes times and sometimes you don't realise that you are not yourself which I think I always forget. Another thought which came from the movie is dream, goal and marriage. I was wondering will I ever able to get married to a man I love and live with him happily. Is that possible in my future? And will I able to have my own child which required me to find a surrogate mother or female friends or friend sister or any female who willingly wanna help me to conceive a child for me?
As I thinking about all these, it is 3.00AM, Saturday... I should be asleep now....
Thursday, 13 October 2011
Wednesday, 12 October 2011
My 2nd Job Upon Graduation
Well, guess what! I didn't create a regret moment for my life as yesterday I had attended and gone for the Surveyor job interview. The result will be known by the end of the month or early November, whether I got it or not? It doesn't matter to me but I do hope I can join and work with them.
Today went for my 1st day of the job, a deskbound job which I nearly survive. Looking at drawing and now got to prepare for the calculation. I don't know if I can stay long for this job, as I not used to work fully in office. Furthermore, looking around the office people, I don't think there is much career advancement for me in the dept and company.
A very good friend/pal/buddy, Will from Sydney, just WhatsApp me today and told me of his recent promotion as a Director who will in charge of half of the department. I happy and yet give me a thought. Should I still chasing after and work for my career to be like my friend, Will and Ari, who is a CEO in a big communication company in one of the Europe country? I feel the more I look upon it, the more it went further. Maybe I have been trying too hard and I should better off just been a normal working adult, work for the sake of living and earn enough for your own self to enjoy the fine holiday.
Definitely, if I stay in this company for long, there won't be much career advancement but just easily contented salary and earn enough thru out your life till the end of your day in the earth.
Lastly, please... the surveyor company offer me.... that's the only chance I could get out of this company now.....
Today went for my 1st day of the job, a deskbound job which I nearly survive. Looking at drawing and now got to prepare for the calculation. I don't know if I can stay long for this job, as I not used to work fully in office. Furthermore, looking around the office people, I don't think there is much career advancement for me in the dept and company.
A very good friend/pal/buddy, Will from Sydney, just WhatsApp me today and told me of his recent promotion as a Director who will in charge of half of the department. I happy and yet give me a thought. Should I still chasing after and work for my career to be like my friend, Will and Ari, who is a CEO in a big communication company in one of the Europe country? I feel the more I look upon it, the more it went further. Maybe I have been trying too hard and I should better off just been a normal working adult, work for the sake of living and earn enough for your own self to enjoy the fine holiday.
Definitely, if I stay in this company for long, there won't be much career advancement but just easily contented salary and earn enough thru out your life till the end of your day in the earth.
Lastly, please... the surveyor company offer me.... that's the only chance I could get out of this company now.....
Sunday, 2 October 2011
I am mentally ill and crazy....
I went out roaming in streets again tonight from 1000pm till now about 0120am along woodlands road to Kranji... I am depressed and stress as well.. I realised I have separate personalities and maybe going worst in future I not too sure of.
Today we had a big family gathering with my mother's family. I went to West Coast Plaza mall to rent and read manga books over there till 5pm I start to move off to my youngest uncle hse (Granny hse). While walking from the plaza to the hse, it reminds me of the past 2 months which I spend my time visiting my granny and bring her in a wheelchair from the hse to the market and vice versa. Immediately, my eyes have tears. I wipe and just go and meet my family up and tell myself don't think too much.. Granny had gone.
Yes, day time in front of my family member and any people I add normal as I am, but when alone I went crazy.. back to the earlier I had mentioned roaming in streets.. I cry out and calling my granny, telling her I still not able to move on.. because she took care of me when I am young and saw me from baby to adult almost 30s. In my life, I only have one granny who is still alive when I was born and that's she.. but she was gone... I also ask her I crazy... initially had a job offer of 3.5k I rejected... and now when accepting a job which is 3.2k... and so unlucky that got an interview from my dream job and company.. I stupidity call the job agent to see and tell him the truth what happens and see if he can delay my start work or forfeit the job offer as I never signed. I know is a big mistake to tell the truth to the job agent and now I decided don't care bout it... Just go with the work and when I knew the date of the interview just go and take unpaid leave... I did also prepare if they really find fault to me I pay the penalty which is the one month of the salary to the agent. This is what I crying and telling my granny while walking along the street regardless if there is any passerby...
I also tell her, when she around I also very sad and can't face the reality because of her stroke condition. I pray to God please bring her away... I am barely able to look at her eyes directly though I always try to crack jokes to her in front of the family. When God really listen to me and take her away, I am sad as well, my heart and mind still not able to let go and move on still crying...
Don't you think my mental condition has problem while writing this blog my tears still dripping...
If anyone had read it and ask me how am I, I will say I am fine even if I am not... in fact I not sure.
Because I lost my mind... this hour, minute and second, I am different and switching my personalities I may not aware... I thought I will be fine and my mum is worst and need to look after... Didn't expects I am the one who suffered such a great impact...
Today we had a big family gathering with my mother's family. I went to West Coast Plaza mall to rent and read manga books over there till 5pm I start to move off to my youngest uncle hse (Granny hse). While walking from the plaza to the hse, it reminds me of the past 2 months which I spend my time visiting my granny and bring her in a wheelchair from the hse to the market and vice versa. Immediately, my eyes have tears. I wipe and just go and meet my family up and tell myself don't think too much.. Granny had gone.
Yes, day time in front of my family member and any people I add normal as I am, but when alone I went crazy.. back to the earlier I had mentioned roaming in streets.. I cry out and calling my granny, telling her I still not able to move on.. because she took care of me when I am young and saw me from baby to adult almost 30s. In my life, I only have one granny who is still alive when I was born and that's she.. but she was gone... I also ask her I crazy... initially had a job offer of 3.5k I rejected... and now when accepting a job which is 3.2k... and so unlucky that got an interview from my dream job and company.. I stupidity call the job agent to see and tell him the truth what happens and see if he can delay my start work or forfeit the job offer as I never signed. I know is a big mistake to tell the truth to the job agent and now I decided don't care bout it... Just go with the work and when I knew the date of the interview just go and take unpaid leave... I did also prepare if they really find fault to me I pay the penalty which is the one month of the salary to the agent. This is what I crying and telling my granny while walking along the street regardless if there is any passerby...
I also tell her, when she around I also very sad and can't face the reality because of her stroke condition. I pray to God please bring her away... I am barely able to look at her eyes directly though I always try to crack jokes to her in front of the family. When God really listen to me and take her away, I am sad as well, my heart and mind still not able to let go and move on still crying...
Don't you think my mental condition has problem while writing this blog my tears still dripping...
If anyone had read it and ask me how am I, I will say I am fine even if I am not... in fact I not sure.
Because I lost my mind... this hour, minute and second, I am different and switching my personalities I may not aware... I thought I will be fine and my mum is worst and need to look after... Didn't expects I am the one who suffered such a great impact...
Saturday, 1 October 2011
My Voice My Song
Guess what!! You guys and gals must be saying I'm crazy LOL... but I dont care cos is my blog...
So I have the right to post it even if the public dont like to hear it... Is just for fun and self satisfaction!
So I have the right to post it even if the public dont like to hear it... Is just for fun and self satisfaction!
Back For Good
Promise (Chinese)
爱的呼唤
谁会记得我
分享爱
I Have A Dream
Love Is The Answer
Season In The Sun
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