24/09/2011 Self Reflection and Thought

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Recently wrote in 2011 bout the missing 2010.....

04-08-2011

2011-08-04 23:12

2011! The last blog I wrote was in 2009... Time flies fast...

What happens my life in 2010?...


Gain
-I finally graduated with 1st Class honours, Bachelor Degree.
-Visited Stockholm, Sweden
-Out overseas to work in the Middle East, Qatar
-Start a long distance of relationship again..
-Visited Bahrain, UAE (Abu Dhabi)

Loss
-I break off the friendship with him.... as I break the line... jealousy control over me.. and lead to anger...
-I declared my dad is dead... why.. I don't want to talk bout it.
-The relationship doesn't last long... end badly... ( Story begin by him, written by him.. and so ended by him also...)

And now in 2011, I have more losses than gaining. Guess is a deep dark valley for me and I had to walk through for the time being. But life still needs to go on.. so by keep walking, there be a path out of the valley and see the light again. :)

Bringing back my life from other site to public for year 2009

Student!!! Yeah.. been a student at my mid-twenties... hahahaha... and hit a wall in love that I pursuit.. but is alright... seem like I didn't care to contact him now.. he is in relationship.. move on.. and he did tell me we will never happen!

Bringing back my life from other site to public for year 2008

2008 I had no ideal what did I went thru... Is CRAZY. I didn't know what happened to myself.. why and how did I wrote that hahaha... and worst who is that guy I referring to in 2008-03-23 12:17????

"What Is Love"

2008-12-14 00:34

"What Is Love"

Is it a truth?

Or is it a fear?

Is it a rose to for my valentine?

What is love?

Is it only words?

I'm trying to find?

Or is it the way,that we're feeling now?

What is love?

If love is truth,then let it break my heart.

If love is fear,lead me to the dark.

If love is a game,i'm playing all my cards.

What is love?

A pain or a cure?

A scienece of faith?

A reason to fall to your knees and die?

What is love?

If love is truth,then let it break my heart.

If love is fear,lead me to the dark.

If love is a game,i'm playing all my cards.

What is love?

Only you can save me now.

Only you can heal me now.

Only you can show me now, what is love.

Or is it a truth?

Or is it a fear?

Is it a rose for my valentine?

What is love?

What is love?

小虎队----爱

2008-09-27 15:18

小虎队----爱 把你的心 我的心 串一串 串一株幸運草 串一個同心圓 讓所有期待未來的呼喚 趁青春做個伴 別讓年輕愈長大愈孤單 把我的幸運草種在你的夢田 讓地球隨我們的同心圓 永遠的不停轉 向天空大聲的呼喚 說聲愛你 向那流浪的白雲 說聲我想你 讓那天空聽得見 讓那白雲看得見 誰也擦不掉我們酗U的諾言 想帶你一起看大海 說聲我愛你 給你最亮的星星 說聲我想你 聽聽大海的誓言 看看執著的藍天 讓我們自由自在的戀愛 That's what I will do for my love one.. hahhahahaha...... :)

Strong

2008-08-28 23:09

Well, guess this song "Strong" reflect for me in past few days and this days. :)

Strong by Robbie Williams

My breath smells of a thousand fags

And when Im drunk I dance like me dad

Ive started to dress a bit like him

Early morning when I wake up

I look like kiss but without the make up

And thats a good line to take it to the bridge

And you know and you know

Cos my lifes a mess

And Im trying to grow so before Im old I'll confess

You think that Im strong you're wrong

You're wrong

I'll sing my song my song my song

My beds full of takeaways and fantasies

Of easy lays

The pause buttons broke on my video

And is this real cos I feel fake

Oprah winfrey ricki lake

Teach me things I dont need to know

And you know and you know

Cos my lifes a mess

 And its starting to show so before Im old I'll confess

You think that I'm strong you're wrong

You're wrong

I'll sing my song my song my song

If I did it all again Id be a nun

The rain was never cold when I was young

Im still young were still young

Lifes too short to be afraid

Step inside the sun

And you know and you know

Cos my lifes a mess

And Im trying to grow

And you know and you know

You think that Im strong youre wrong

Youre wrong

Ill sing my song my song my song

You think that Im strong youre wrong

Youre wrong

Ill sing my song my song my song

Lifes too short to be afraid So take a pill to numb the pain

You dont have to take the blame

Lifes too short to be afraid So take a pill to numb the pain

You dont have to take the blame

Lifes too short to be afraid So take a pill to numb the pain

You dont have to take the blame

Just another moment of talking to myself

2008-08-09 01:17

Why still single? So you flirting around? Are you a cock teaser? Hahahaha..... Single? Haven't found the Mr Right yet. Yes, I do flirt around with guys. :) Well, why not? I'm single I love to cock tease people. For friends who knows me well, I always tease them and make them "hard" I supposed hehehehehehe (Do I??) Did I ever love someone seriously before? Yes, everybody at least had once before. I had two in my life so far. 1st one was 4 yrs ago a local guy (J) but is just a one-way love I supposed. So he really likes me or loves me I not too sure. But I can say I still love him in my heart. The 2nd one was from overseas (Jj). And I started to keep a distance away... No point waiting and hoping one day I will be there with him when he already let go of you and want you to find a better one. No more sweetie here and there. I've put a stop for it. Move on and keep his love inside my heart too. So far only 2 lah.. Others that I had been.. hahahah are just dating, teasing, having fun with. I do have the feeling with them but not as serious as the two I had mentioned. Some find out that they are not my Mr.Right or I'm not their Mr Right or us just simply wanna have fun without any string.... Yeee... Haaaa.. (That's me K)

Thats my feeling tonight....

2008-06-22 23:46

Did you know when you\'re around

My heart won\'t it can\'t slow down

It beats so hard it makes it hard

To catch my breath, to catch my breath

Don\'t ever ask me if I\'m sorry

Or that I\'m here with you

Baby you can bet

I don\'t regret the guys

I never knew

Every day\'s another first

Another change for me

To fall in love with you

And I do:

Did you know when you\'re around

My heart won\'t it can\'t slow down

It beats so hard it makes it hard

To catch my breath, to catch my breath

Oh.. when you\'re with me I stop seeing

Any way to fail how do

I explain I try to tell you what

I\'m feeling But how do I when all words pale

Did you know when you\'re around

My heart won\'t, it can\'t slow down

It beats so hard it makes it hard

To catch my breath, to catch my breath

Did you know when you\'re around

My heart won\'t, it can\'t slow down

It beats so hard it makes it hard

To catch my breath, to catch my breath

To catch my breath, to catch my breath

To catch my breath, to catch my breath

Just been emotional....

2008-06-15 01:42

Thank you in advance

For the love you'll give me.

I've glance of the good life

You'll be there when nobody believe me

I've gone through it all in my mind.

I'm already there

Take a look around

I'm the sunshine in your hair

I'm the shadow on the ground

I'm the whisper in the wind

And I'll be there till the end

Can you feel the love that we share

Have you ever loved somebody so much it make you cry

Have you ever needed something so bad you cant sleep at night

Have you ever tried to find the words

But they don't come out right

Have you ever?

Have you ever?

WHAT I LEARN FROM SEX AND THE CITY MOVIE

2008-06-01 02:05

I think after all everybody is looking for love.... someone whom they want to be with and spend the happy times moment together. Yes, LOVE is a must.. but don't forget bout your friends. They are important as well. They are always there for you when you are sad, lonely and had problems. In this movie, I saw true love and true friendship. And got to learn been true to yourself and choose the things that are best for you. But is just a movie, it could be like our fairytale story.... (HAPPILY EVER AFTER) Anyway, is a good lovely movie. Did saw a guy I like in the movie... Hahahaha... MR. BIG.. Such a gorgeous guy.... I love him. (I mean outlook and inner wise nah.. just a movie character not the real person's character). :)

MY LOVE

2008-05-25 15:07

Since I love you, I would like to see my love to be happy and not sad. I don't like to force my love to do things that he doesn't like but will support my love for doing things that he likes. To make sure he's happy. If I can't accept the way he is, I will still love him but leave him as he is. As I know we are not able to be together and I'm not his Mr Right anymore. Is time for us to be apart and becomes friends. All I want is to make sure my love is happy. And I will be happy to see him happy as well.

Anyone want to buy my contract?

2008-04-06 23:07

These days my work sucks.... Getting more and more work task and difficult to handle for me. Is either my manager looked highly on me or I suck (meaning I not able to perform to the standard) Almost every weekday I working till 8pm or 10pm... And the next day woke up 545am for work again. Weekend for both day got to work too..... Arrgghhh.... Worst is I like to have my personal time doing my own things... ended I have lesser time for my sleeping time... like 4 or 5 hrs.... Started to have stupid thought when I on my way to work... Wished the bus I'm travelling now caught a serious accident and I got injured ended in the hospital.... Or hope someone good buys my contract so I free from that stupid work... LOL... Dream on dream on.... Argghhhhhh.....

Is been long.... Where have you been?

2008-03-23 12:17

I will not be letting you. Have been quietly waiting for you..... :)And now I got you.. You did make my day happy now... :)

Been worst and nasty...What had happened?

2008-03-20 00:10

I have been getting more and more impatient and frustrated with everything. I am not used to be chatty, sweet, flirty and nice guy nowadays. There's a few reasons for it I supposed and I think should not be supposed but confirmation. I have been working for 16 days non-stop come back to work on weekend Saturday, Sunday and even my reservist day I still got work to do at home as I bring the work back home. Rushing to finish that work. I need a rest day and I mean work free.... I have to admit I do meet up a few nice guys for the past few months.. but they are either attached, dating with someone, staying overseas, or just wanna have fun no string attached.... I know I should wait and my time will come.... I told myself that too... But it would be nice to have in a way as when I so work out, I still have him. Someone that makes me put all the frustrating things and work aside. And looking forward to seeing him, hug him, lay around with him because to me having him is the happiest time I ever had.... I'm a very emotional person.. and lots of people say I should control my feeling and not to let it control me so easily... I know but I really can't control, sorry. I still can't get over with my last date..... Why he wanna break my limits. I have given all I could.. even the hxxe I have given him too.. what he still want? Love is not always giving and always take.... Wonder did you give me before? I do like and love you if not I wouldn't, why I still can't forget bout you and bitchy it out in the diary.. You don't bring me to the pub. I listen to you, I let you go alone there and I stay at home. I've been honest to you, I told you everything bout my past and what I doing now... But what did I get? Is the words from you that hurt me ("Where are you?" Are you having fun with a guy" or "Are you sucking dick now")... Did I get angry? Yes, I do but I like you so much I give way to you.... The worst is you tell me you don't trust me after knowing what I been through the past. But isn't a past is past? So someone who had done wrong cant gets a new life? I was young and I believe everybody during the young time, try out a lot of things... as curious make people explorer.. and after a long time they finally know what they want... So I know what I want and what I looking for.. If you still think I'm the same as the past let it be.. Is your mind and brain.. I have no choice... But to give way to you. As I like you. Everybody had its own limit.. You break my limit as you acting like a girl to me. You are so indecisive.... Just give me a straight answer... Yes or No. Is so simple.. Don't bushed around with someone who is waiting for you the whole day. I still kept his message till now as I cant believe he's such a girl. I really hope he could change one day. I arranged my work to do all Sunday and let saturday time to be free for him.... He text me afternoon he got something caught up lets meet on the evening at 8pm... I went out with my straight couple friends movie while waiting for him. bout 730 text him but no reply and only get his reply bout 10 mins later. Not even a sorry words come in but telling me I overslept and still in bed give me some time... I give him the time and I told him I will wait and ask my couple friends to go to other places without me as I waited for him. Its was coming to 8pm, he texts me what I wanna do... I told we can go for dinner, or just walk around... he says he still in bed.. That makes me nuts... So I asked him if he still wants to come out? or not? He replies to me I not sure as I still lying on the bed.... That's it... I hate that... is like a girl indecisive.. I mean you are a guy, a big guy, just give me a straight answer whether you want to come out and see me that's it.. stop asking me the whole day what are we gonna do and make me wait and looking forward the whole day... and ask me "I not sure I still in bed" So what the pools here thinking? I know I'm bitchy and I shouldn't but as I say these days is so crazy I would say lol........

Crazy tonight 08032008

2008-03-09 02:32

Went movie "Step Up 2" Dress and do some nice style for my hair and waiting for someone. Anyone then someone didn't turn up he just makes me sick lol hahahah.... I went crazy tonight anyway.... Went dancing with my group of straight friends in 'DOUBLE O" and Mohammad Sultan... and out alone to "Tantric" for a drink and move out to "BACKSTAGE" for another drink. Didn't picks up and guys just say hi and bye to some friends that happen to meet up in the bar. And back home.... I can't believe I do such crazy things ( I mean to me is crazy hahahha) I dont go to "TANTRIC" or "BACKSTAGE" alone but tonight I did it...... and on my way to flag a cab I dance and sing loudly in the street hahhahahha so KUKU...... What a crazy night for me....

Dating again... bad moved hahahahaha

2008-03-04 00:49

Ok, foolish again. What to say.... As Sean say I easily go all way out to someone I really like. And ended ruin it and got out of nothing hahahha.... Sean was not around me anymore so can't cry out loud. I still remember the time I cry out loud in the public lol..... He was there beside me... And seen my stupid drama lol hahhaha... Yes, I have to admit when coming to like someone or in love or relationship. I'm not really good at and know how to deal with it. I totally suck.... Hahahhaha....... I can't express out what I want and what I looking for clearly and straight to people. Making things worst and worst and ended nothing but turn me as a jerk, slut or bitch or whatever lah... hahhahahha.... My ex used to say he's a bitch.. or fat or ugly... I'm also lah now... A bitch and growing fat also lah.... outlook is cute but insight is ugly lah.....What to do face the fact and move on.... It hurts but I have to go through it is part of life .. No one fault but is my fault for being so emotional.... and spiteful and later on back to normal.... Is like a mad person lol hahahhahahahahhaha........ After reading my blog, better don't get too close to me.. hahahahhahah... If you wanna take the risk go ahead but be warned...

Suddenly Back to my Old Life hahaha...

2008-02-17 01:38

Back in 2002 and 2003. I remember I used to walk from places to places during the weekend. And my walk means long walk hahahah not window shopping. The longest record I remember was from Bt Panjang to Orchard. The route is from Upper Bt Timah Road to Newton Circus and turn into Orchard Road. It took me 3hr and 45 mins. And now, not sure what happened to me these few days. I started to pick up running. And on 16/02/2008 I went hardcore to run from Bt Panjang to Serangoon (Tekka Market). It took me 2hrs. Hahahaha... Upgraded me from walking to running. Now my legs are very tired..... Hahahha..... But I'm proud of myself for doing this and feel achieve something though others may think is weird and crazy. hahahahaha

RETRO MUSIC.......

2008-02-03 03:11

Thinking in square rooms a human without illusions

Sad strains on a sad face is that what we've come to?

Is the world bold this love old moving nowhere and it's gonna cold.

The wind stops the clouds go we're all alone.

Oh Oh I know I can see those.

Oh oh I know I can see those.

 I can feel those I can see those.

Oh oh square rooms oh oh square rooms.

They don't listen they don't care if a man is in despair.

Oh oh square rooms oh oh square rooms. ...

Walks long and long clears the vision of one with one

And you still move me you undo me like you've always done.

But I realize now we've not made you out of words now

Just you and me just you and me until the end of time.

Oh oh I know I can see those. . . .

Oh oh square rooms oh oh square rooms. ...

Oh oh square rooms oh oh square rooms. ...

Oh Oh square rooms oh oh square rooms. ...

Do you guys remember this song? Yes, is an 80's music. I like retro music and this is one of the songs I like and dance in the club and sad to say only in the straight or mixed club-like Zouk and Double O will play these songs in their retro nite. I don't hear or maybe hardly heard this song played in any of the gay clubs. Maybe I was wrong cus I don't go gay club often. I started to like retro music and dancing during my polytechnic years with my poly mates. It was 2001 like 7 years ago hahahah..... so long and the retro music still the same till now 2008 which I had gone tonight at double O. But a few songs was faced out such as summer rain (one of my favourite), Forevermore and one or two others songs. I can see there's a big change in the club or should say I'm old hahahaha.... Most of the crowd there are 18 to 23 and rarely mid-20s and above. Looking back that's my age I started to come to the club. So is just bringing new blood and probably the old blood went to other clubs like MOS or St James. The way the crowd's dance was big difference too. 1st is they had innovated the dance move, which makes me feel totally outdated hahhahahaha..... 2nd is the people are dancing in a big group like 15 to 20 and doing the same dance moves. I was impressed with them as the whole scene looks cool and great on the dance floor. Is more like a line dancing now :)... Well, anyway that makes me missed the club, Midnight Shift, the gay club in Sydney. I really love enjoying that place. They played nice songs and music, and I enjoy dancing over there. Was so great... gonna visit there again. :)

Looking Back..... 2003 to 2007

2008-01-14 00:59

Wow.. time fly very fast.... Remember when I 1st started coming out was 21 yr old. Yup very young.. I went to sgboy and post an ad to try out meeting guys. I want to know about my sexual orientation. Hahahha.... and yup I like to be with guys and had fun with guys lol..... Throughout the 4 years, I do meet up nice and good looking (in my eyes) guys. And I do really enjoyed the fun and laughter together. But none of them wanted me for more .. hahahaha they just wanna fun will do. They always said to me I still young still have a long way to go. I shouldn't be looking for this thing called LOVE. This year I'll be 26. Wandering if I went back to them, will they say I still young? Hahahha probably... I guess.... Some may have attached some may really just want to be single... Nevertheless, I still like guys who are older in the 30s and big built... My preference hasn't changed at all.

Take That : Rule The World

2008-01-06 12:49

The more I listen the more I like it. Intro to u "Rule The World" from Take That. :)

Take That : Rule The World

You light the skies, up above me

A star, so bright, you blind me, yeah

Don't close your eyes

Don't fade away, don't fade away-

Oh Yeah you and me we can ride on a star

If you stay with me girl

We can rule the world-

Yeah you and me we can light up the sky

If you stay by my side

We can rule the world-

If walls break down,

I will comfort you

If angels cry, oh I'll be there for you

You've saved my soul

Don't leave me now, don't leave me now

Oh Yeah you and me we can ride on a star

If you stay with me girl

We can rule the world

Yeah you and me, we can light up the sky

If you stay by my side

We can rule the world- Ooooooooh

All the stars are coming out tonight

They're lighting up the sky tonight

For you, for you

All the stars are coming out tonight

They're lighting up the sky tonight

For you, for you- Ooooooooh

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star

If you stay with me girl

We can rule the world

Yeah you and me, we can light up the sky

If you stay by my side

We can rule the world

All the stars are coming out tonight (oooooooh)

They're lighting up the sky tonight

For you, for you-

All the stars are coming out tonight

They're lighting up the sky tonight

For you,for you-

All the stars, are coming out tonight

They're lighting up the sky tonight

For you, for you-

All the stars, are coming out tonight

They're lighting up the sky tonight

For you,for you-

Bringing back my life from other site to public for year 2007

I would say 2007 I change my career, visit my best friend/sweetie and also out to my family.... a special year to be remembered for me

20th of Dec\' 08 that nite.

2007-12-24 00:13

For the past four years, I always thought that my mum would be furious, sad and hate of me been gay. As my mum is very conservative. But yet to my surprise! On the 20th of Dec' 08 that nite. I told her that I'm gay and I like guys. She was fine and not sad and angry. She accepted what I am. I was very happy and joyful. I kept this secret from her for 4 years. I finally had a relieve. And couldn't believe in myself. Was it a dream or not? Thanks, mum. Love you as always. Kiss and hug

If only................so.......... :(

2007-12-11 00:05

Went to Australian, Sydney and Melbourne. Finally, I'm living and acting like myself. Is totally myself. I feel very very very happy. I really wanna express out in details and more but can't find the right words but HAPPY. I really like to thanks William who is my good friend, good pal, good buddies, good brother. He always there supports me and during that few days staying with him. We had a very strong bond which is exactly the same as like family bonding. James who is also my good friend and my lovely sweetie. MUACK!!! a kiss for you. Although is just 2 days in Melbourne. But you really done more than a friend do to me. I'm touched and very happy. How I wish if only I had one or two friends or a lover in Singapore too. If not I will and might just move out of Singapore and live in Australia with them. Hahahahaha... which is impossible. I don't know why ever since I'm back to Singapore I never stop running tears....(Sound like a girl and I know I shouldn't but that's me) If only..................... so................

17112007 Went to LUNAR. Love the place

2007-11-18 03:38

Went out with my group of straight friends to this new club called LUNAR. A straight club play mostly Asian songs live band. Like the place very much. They play and sing songs which most of the songs I like. Enjoying the dancing and drinking :) The 1st moment I enter the club, the live band had started. My attention got attracted by this singer called Johnny, who I supposed is from china. His cute and hunky heheheheh... My cup of tea..hahahhahaha.... Suddenly there are two ladies invite us for drinks. Both in the late 20s or coming 30s. They are Sandra and Yvonne. Sandra told my friends that she thought that I'm 27 and for the rest of my friends are in 22 to 24. So I'm the big brother bringing his group of little brothers out to see the world hahahahahhaha......( Why do ladies say I look old and the guys I met often say I too young) Sandra came over and ask me to go over and dance with Yvonne. Well to be polite, I went over and dance with Yvonne. Not too bad to dance with a gal but would prefer guy especially guys that I like hehehehe (thinking of J, miss u)... Later on, I feel funny after Sandra came and talk to me again. Asking me do I like Yvonne. I was shocked in a moment. And reply to her ok...ok... but as a friend. Just wondering did I reply wrongly?

My 2 weeks of reservist in-camp training

2007-10-14 23:43

I'm FAT now. Thought back to the army should be tough and lose some weight. But is different lol. I did go to the field training and eat the field combat ration. Been a company quartermaster sergeant, there's not much of training because there aren't many store items moving around the field for this in-camp training. So lucky me. hehehhehe Food wise, not many of my comrade take the field combat ration. They bring their own canned food. So I took their combat ration. Taken the packet of three meal a day of combat ration as one meal a day. In other words, for my lunch, I took two meals and same for my dinner during the field camp training. So work less eat more... the end results it turns out my weight from 67kg to 75kg. hahhahaha..... Can call me Fatty now I supposed.

"L.O.V.E."

2007-09-16 23:32

"L.O.V.E."

L is for the way you look at me

O is for the only one I see

V is very, very extraordinary

E is even more than anyone that you adore

Can love is all that I can give to you

Love is more than just a game for two Two in love can make it

Take my heart but please don't break it

Love was made for me and you

L is for the way you look at me

O is for the only one I see

V is very, very extraordinary

E is even more than anyone that you adore

Can love is all that I can give to you

Love, love, love is more than just a game for two

Two in love can make it

Take my heart but please don't break it

'Cause love was made for me and you

I said love was made for me and you

You know that love was made for me and you

I want to live

2007-09-04 22:13

Sometimes I feel like I need to shake myself, to wake myself.

I feel like I just sleep walkin' through my life Its like

I'm swimmin' in an ocean of emotion

But still, somehow slowly goin' numb inside

I don't like who I'm becomin'

I know I've gotta do something'

Before my life passes right by I wanna cry like the rain, cry like the rain

To shine like the sun on a beautiful mornin'

Fight with the Devil and go down swingin'

Fly like a bird roll like a stone

Love like I ain't afraid to be alone

Take everything that this world has to give

I wanna live

Sometimes I wonder why I work so hard, to guard my heart

Well I hardly feel anything at all I've spent my whole life building up this ivory tower

Now that I'm in it I keep wishin' it would fall

So I could feel the ground beneath me

Really taste this air I'm breathin'

And know that I'm alive I wanna cry like the rain, cry like the rain

To shine like the sun on a beautiful mornin'

Fight with the Devil and go down swingin'

Fly like a bird roll like a stone

Love like I ain't afraid to be alone

Take everything that this world has to give

I wanna live

Something deep inside keeps saying

Life is like a vapor

Its gone in just a twinklin' of an eye I wanna cry like the rain, cry like the rain

To shine like the sun on a beautiful mornin'

Fight with the Devil and go down swingin'

Fly like a bird roll like a stone

Love like I ain't afraid to be alone

Take everything that this world has to give

I wanna live Yeah yeah

by Josh Gracin

Remind me about you, Karsten

2007-08-19 04:18

Just met John from Hongkong. Had a nice chat and dinner with him. It's been a long time I hadn't catch up with him since he flying around Hongkong, Malaysia and Singapore. I left home after dinner with him. While on my way back, somehow seeing John reminds me of a person I used to meet up and had nice chat and to hang ard with. And that's Karsten. Hahahaha..... Wonder how his love life goes...... :) Should be doing well.... Cos he's a lovely and nice guy :)

Somebody's Me by Enrique Iglesias

You Do you remember me like I remember you

Do you spend your life going back in your mind to the time

Coz I I walk the streets alone I hear people my own and everyone can see that

I real fair and I'm going for her thinking about you was somebody else

Somebody wants you

Somebody needs you

Somebody dreams about you every single night

Somebody can't breathe without you it's lonely

Somebody holds I won't think you will see

That somebody's me

  That somebody's me

How How did we go wrong

It was so good and now it's gone

Then I pray at night that our passing will cross what we had is a lost

Coz you're always you're here in my lost

Somebody wants you

Somebody needs you

Somebody dreams about you every single night

Somebody can't breathe without you it's lonely

Somebody holds at someday you will see

That somebody's me oh yeah

You'll always be in my life

Even if I'm not in your life

It's in my memory

Now when you remember me

And before you set me free

Oh listen please

Somebody wants you

Somebody needs you

Somebody dreams about you every single night

Somebody can't breathe without you it's lonely

Somebody holds that someday you will see

That somebody's me (yeaaheeyeeh)

Somebody's me Somebody's me Somebody's me

Do you know? Do you know?

2007-08-02 19:36

Do you know? Do you know?

 Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away?

Do you know, do you know, do you know, do ya?

Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?

If birds flying south is a sign of changes

At least you can predict this every year

Love, you never know the minute it ends suddenly

I can't get it to speak

Maybe if I knew all the things it took to save us

I could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me

Look in your eyes to see something about me

I'm standing on the edge and I don't know what else to give.

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away?

Do you know, do you know, do you know, do ya?

Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?

How can I love you? How can I love you? How can I love you? How can I love you?

If you just don't talk to me, babe.

I flow through my act

There's a question: Is she needed?

And decide all the man I can ever be.

Looking at the last 3 years like I did

I could never see us ending like this. (Do you know?)

Seeing your face no more on my pillow

Is a scene that's never ever happened to me. (Do you know?)

But after this episode I don't see

You could never tell the next thing life could be

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away?

Do you know, do you know, do you know, do ya?

Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away?

Do you know, do you know, do you know, do ya?

Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?

 (Do you know?) (Do you know?) (Do you know?) (Do you know?)

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away?

Do you know, do you know, do you know, do ya?

Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away?

(Do you know how it feels?)

Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?

(Do you know how it feels?) (Do you know? Do you know? Do you know? Do you?) (Do you know? Do you know? Do you know? Do you?)

容易受伤的女人

2007-07-26 18:36

有心人儿用情深

紧紧追缘共度今生

此刻不需再离分

让梦幻都变真 曾经相爱过的人

泪眼诉说亳无缘份

爱你爱得那样深

心碎也更深

情人难求

爱人总是难留

我是容易受伤的女人

无情无爱

无缘无奈的心

能不能过一生 谁会珍惜

谁又懂得接受 这个容易受伤的女人

痴痴等 到何时 有情人

火热的心会变冷

而我依然那么认真

夜深人寂只留我 伤心的女人

Final Decision has been made..........Yeah

2007-07-14 16:33

01 12 05 This is the date I ORD Loh........... hahahhaahah........ and taking my insurance exams also. Finally, I passed all the exam and contracted with M company on 17 12 05. My 1st job insurance agent........ hahhahah friends, relative and family will shock....and object also.......but....no other jobs offer me leh...hahahha send out many resumes but none ask me for interview except SIA. But kanna kicks out for the 1st interview. LOL... Life in the insurance line was good and excitement in the first few months. Did earn big money( not more than 5K) but very happy cos I person who is easy contented........ Come to the mid of 2006 I was down......business not doing well, no happy don't want to continue anymore............. But a girl came in and give me a hand wor....... Her name is Jollen, I called her shen po (god ma) why I say that cos she very devoted to her religion when u work with her, she will sing her religion songs and pray in the middle of work. Its was fun and laughter when working with her. Bring me a lot of joyful days. That's how I picked up myself and continue to work hard............................. But good days don't last long............she quit on sept.......no news from her.......just knew that she quit because she wanna concentrate on her studies............... Well, though I was down again I found a sweet guy.....from Melbourne............... He keeps encouraged and motivate me and because of him I work hard again............and finally I achieve my company minimum quota and get to appear in the newspaper........Hurray.......Hahahhaha.......... But things between us didn't go well...... Basically, we are far apart... He is unable to come and visit me often anymore..... we have to end it....... but end it doesn't mean we don't contact anymore...... we still keep SMS and called and email each other regularly...... Just that we cant live together.............. 2007 a brand new year coming to my 2nd year of insurance line........ well, though that business is hard but not still the same as 2006 good for the 1st few months.......... and this time a new girl came and help me. Celeste that's her name, a 26 young mother had a 6 years old girl..... But she came in too late to help me ........... I started to work along with her ard march....... and on and off she disappeared cos she needs to take care of her daughter and family. So happen to she disappear when I was down...... and this down is deep down I would say lol.............. I spent one month doing nothing and just gym and running.......... And finally decided I gonna quit this job and back to my engineering. I went to tell my manager, he was shocked and followed by a friend of mine and Celeste. Both of them was shocked by my decision....... The reason I told them because I intended to transfer 1/3 of my clients to both of them each. And the rest I give back to my manager. They keep asking me why I wanna quit and keep saying I did well and good and can do better. They believe in me that I can be successful in this line....... Nevertheless, I admit I earn better income now than in 2006. I get a good commission. But I don't like the life I have now......Keep meeting people and looking for sales...... There's no single day I can forget about doing sales.... every day has to calculate how much I shortfall of sales quota and commission........ I'm tired.............. Money is not everything to me....... I rather choose a balanced lifestyle than towards money more...... Yes, maybe my time management is sucked...... But I'm tired...... nothing left can motivate and push me anymore. I worked hard for people I like and love. I don't work hard for myself.... As I like simple life... :) Now looking for a new job and no more sales line of course........hahahhahahhaha

Way Back Into Love

2007-04-28 09:31

Love this song. Knew it from the movie called "Music and Lyrics" sing by Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore

Way Back Into Love

I've been living with a shadow overhead

I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed

I've been lonely for so long

Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away

Just in case I ever need em again someday

I've been setting aside time

To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love

Oh oh oh I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine

I've been searching but I just don't see the signs

I know that it's out there

There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light

Not just somebody just to get me throught the night

I could use some direction

And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart again

I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real

Or if anybody feels the way I feel

I need inspiration

Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart to you

I'm hoping you'll show me what to do

And if you help me to start again

You know that I'll be there for you in the end

My dynasty my name : )

2007-02-25 11:57

The Wall of the Yan State The Yan State was developed from a small prince. When the King Yan Zhaowang succeeded to the throne, he sought able people nationwide, collected them at hand and granted outstanding ones important positions. This gradually made Yan a strong state in the north of China. The Yan State bordered the Qi State on the south, the Zhao State on the west and the Han State on the northeast. On the north, the Yan State neighbored small but aggressive minority nationalities mainly Donghu, Linhu and Loufan. They harassed Yan's borders and threatened the security there. To guard against them, in the year 290 B.C., the Yan State built a wall along the Yanshan Mountain Range. The wall started from present Huailai County of Hebei Province, crossed the Luanhe River, wound on and turned off to the northeast, extended over the Liaohe River and ended in present Liaoyang of Liaoning Province. The whole route ran as long as 1000 li or 500 kilometers. It is the North Wall of the Yan State. It was the last wall built in the Warring States Period. Yan once succeeded in attacking the Qi State. For fear that the latter would fight back, Yan renovated the embankment of Yishui River and expanded it into a wall. It is known as the Yishui Wall. The Wall consisted of two parts. The first started from present Yixian County of Hebei Province, ran along the Yishui River, passed through Dingxing County and headed to the southeast. The second started from Xushui County of Hebei Province, ran towards the northeast till meeting the first part, then turned off to the southeast and finally arrived at the point about 10 kilometers southeast to Renqiu of Hebei Province.

Seven Seas by Aikawa Nanase

2007-02-24 01:13

蒼い星の砂　

光の洪水 抱き合う胸の間にデジャヴを感じた

こんな風に誰かを愛しく想うだけで全てが眩しくキラめく不思議ね素直な自分でいられる二人でいると奇跡がたくさん生まれる

めぐり逢って愛して愛されて新しい私見つけた！

flying over seven seas looking for your love

つないだこの手を離さない

flying over seven seas looking for your love

心ごと抱きしめて...夢はいつも空じゃなく　

海じゃなく この胸の奥にあるから

...Lyrics by Aikawa Nanase & Hotei Tomoyasu Performed by Aikawa Nanase

Bringing back my life from other site to public for year 2006

Looking back of the year 2006, I would say nothing much drastic happening to me during that year a very normal peaceful year for me.

All or Nothing

2006-12-07 23:57

I know when he's been on your mind

That distant look is in your eyes

  I thought with the time you'd realize it's over, over

It's not the way I choose to live

And something somewhere's gotta give

A share in this relationship gets older, older

You know I'd fight for you but how could I fight someone who isn't even there

I've had the rest of you now I want the best of you I don't care if that's not fair

Cuz I want it all Or nothing at all

There's nowhere left to fall

When you reach the bottom it's now or never

Is it all Or are we just friends Is this how it ends

With a simple telephone call

You leave me here with nothing at all

There are time it seems to me

I'm sharing you with memories

I feel it in my heart but I don't show it, show it

Then there is time you look at me

As though I'm all that you could see

Those times I don't believe it's right I know it, know it

Don't make me promises baby you never did know how to keep them well

I had the rest of you now I want the best of you it's time to show and tell

Cuz I want it all Or nothing at all

There's nowhere left to fall

When you reach the bottom it's now or never

Is it all Or are we just friends All or Nothing

Is this how it ends With a simple telephone call

You leave me here with nothing at all

Cuz you and I Could lose it all if you've got no more room

Nowhere inside for me in your life

Cuz I want it all Or Nothing at all

There's nowhere left to fall It's now or never

Is it all Or Nothing at all

When you reach the bottom it's now or never

Is it all Or are we just friends

Is this how it ends

With a simple telephone call

You leave me here with nothing at all

My Birthday Wish.......

2006-11-08 00:23

My birthday Wish.... hahahahahahhaha... 1st I want to wish to have 4 more wishes. LOL 1)Wish my love, JJ, always happy and have good health. 2)Wish for world peace 3)Wish my career be successful and gain achievement and recognition. 4)Wish to complete my Bsc in Finance in 2011.

Seeing the Fireworks on Friday 110806

2006-08-14 20:44

It was my 1st time went to see the fireworks live at marina square. I went there with a lousy lonely mood. Hahahahah....... Can consider going there alone. Cos my best friend is busy entertaining his girlfriend. Sigh..... Yah I'm a 10000watts light bulb. Anyway, the fireworks were beautiful. And I can feel the impact in my heart. It was very close to me especially those shoots out from the sea. I manage to use my handphone to capture as short clips. Yah not professional view cameraman but better than nothing. The fireworks do make my mood better after all. After the show went to my friend house to see his photo album during his Taiwan trips with his girlfriend......They act cute and funny in the pic...Hahahahhaha.......

Compound the old TT greatest hits songs

2006-07-22 00:06

SURE, ONCE YOU'VE TASTED LOVE, IT ONLY TAKES A MINUTE to RELIGHT MY FIRE. COULD IT BE MAGIC? As is like I FOUND HEAVEN but LOVE AIN'T HERE ANYMORE. I SING A MILLION LOVE SONGS to you. Still, WHY CAN'T I WAKE UP WITH YOU even if I PRAY. Right, EVERYTHING CHANGES But I will NEVER FORGET HOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE. Lastly, I want to say to you, BABE. I really want you BACK FOR GOOD

Sunday 16072006

2006-07-17 00:19

Finally, have a chance to rest at home. I decided to watch DVD. Went to search for a DVD movie to watch. Suddenly, I found an MTV and Concert DVD of "Take That" (TT). I bought it last year 2005. The Ultimate album. Watch the entire MTV and concerts. Like MTV very much and the songs. But too bad, no more TT. TT has broken up in 1996 ended with their last album song "How deep is your love". TT from 5 members left only 4. Robbie Willams (RW) went solo for his music career. Is really kind of sad to me. I find that TT is doing very good. Their songs and their dance are great. After finishing the entire TT DVD. I went on carrying to watch RW concert DVD. There's a scene whereby, RW invite Mark Owen, to sing the TT songs Back For Good in a rock style. It was fantastic. I truly love it. Went back to my PC after watching all the concert DVD. And search for TT more news. And a surprise to me. TT has UNITED. They are going for a tour concert after missing for a decade. WOW, what a surprise. But without RW. RW is not coming back. I hope RW can be their special guest, and sing the song in TT such as Everything changes, Could it be magic. TT and RW all the best.

DNA出错

2006-07-11 23:58

我知道他正看著我彷佛我没有穿甚么

我不过喜欢在街上探戈我想问他:你看甚么

我怀疑他不喜欢我他不明白我说甚么

我不过偶尔把是非弄错我想问他:你怕甚么

不要怪我只好怪 dna 出错

眼睛和耳朵感觉特别多

我不是一个普普通通的男人拥有很多不可思议的可能

也许是遗传成分叫我不假不真 有什么不可发生

我不是一个普普通通的男人拥有不属於这世界的灵魂

我要不断变身虽然你看不真

但你会否陪我私奔

我希望他不理会我因为我不追求甚么

我不过觉得这样最快乐我想问他:妒忌甚么

不要怪我只好怪 dna 出错 眼睛和耳朵感觉特别多

我不是一个普普通通的男人拥有很多不可思议的可能

也许是遗传成分叫我不假不真 有什么不可发生

我不是一个普普通通的男人拥有不属於这世界的灵魂

我要不断变身虽然你看不真 但你会否陪我私奔

Always happen to me in this way hahahahha...

2006-07-08 23:01

I know is a problem for me. And I want to change it but can't. Don't know how to change. Really! Every time I started to fall in love with a guy I always don't talk much to him. I will only stare at him, go out with him. follow him where ever he likes to go. I am sorry for my Mr S guy. He likes to talk, but just that I got this weird problem. I will try to talk more to you ok Mr S. Kiss and Hugs.

Was it just a dream........can it be true..............

2006-07-02 22:32

I tell myself if I got a loved one. I want to stay with him. Both of us be in the house chatting, playing, or go outside watch movies etc....etc....The world just is two of us, the time is meant for us and no others can intercept. When we have to go to work we have to leave each other alone. Don't mind each of us have our own group of friends to go out even if late. Bottom line is we still come back to our own nest and sleep. Communication must be there. Trust must be there.......this is my dream but when can it be true.....I not sure...... :)

夜蝶

2006-06-20 22:50

Your Heart is not always grounded

你的心总是不停飞

Your night never willing to sleep

你的夜从来不肯睡

You like the tireless butterfly shuttle between the neon

你像穿梭在霓虹之间 不倦的蝶

Dissolutely beautiful wildness smiles

美的放肆笑的狂野

Sedulously burns all the greedy eyes

刻意燃烧所有贪婪的眼

You have given all the youth to the late-night

你把青春全都交给深夜

Loving you without any thoughts

 爱你爱的不顾一切

Knows perfectly well that you miss the lovely night

明知你难舍夜的美

My whole life is waiting for your love to change and for me to rest

一生等你为爱改变 为我停歇

Wants you to care about my feeling

要你在乎我的感觉

Does not indulge your smiling face in the night

不在夜里放纵你的笑颜

Does not allow others to give you my comfort

不让别人替我给你安慰

I never regret my crazy

我的痴永不悔

Waits till you see how strong and deeply is my love

等你看见爱有多深多浓烈

Only feared that you didn't look back

只怕你头不回

Would rather lose than without a sincerity look from you

情愿迷失不看真心一眼

I never regret my crazy

我的痴永不悔

Only wants to love you this life and giving you forever

只想爱你今生再给你永远

My love waiting for you before the dusk comes (Every one day)

我的爱守候在 黑夜之前(每一天)

Your Heart is not always grounded

你的心总是不停飞

Your night never willing to sleep

你的夜从来不肯睡

You like the tireless butterfly shuttle between the neon

你像穿梭在霓虹之间 不倦的蝶

Wants you to care about my feeling

要你在乎我的感觉

Does not indulge your smiling face in the night

不在夜里放纵你的笑颜

Does not allow others to give you my comfort

 不让别人替我给你安慰

Home.........Nice song I like it

2006-05-20 21:57

Another summer day

另一个夏天

Is coming and gone away

来了又去了

In Paris and Rome

在巴黎和罗马

But I wanna go home Mmmmmmm

但我想回家....嗯......

Maybe surrounded by a million people

也许被许多人围绕

I still feel all alone

我仍然感到孤独

I just wanna go home

我只想回家

Oh, I miss you, you know

噢，你知道我很想你

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you,

我保留着所有写给你的信

Each one a line or two

信里的一行或者两行

"I'm fine baby, how are you?"

 "我很好，你好吗？宝贝"

Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough

我要寄给你，但是我知道那远远不够

My words were cold and flat

我的话是那样冰冷和无力

And you deserve more than that

你应该得到比这更多的关怀

Another aeroplane

另外一架飞机

Another sunny place

另一个阳光的地方

I'm lucky I know

我知道我是幸运的

But I wanna go home

但是我想回家

Mmmm I've got to go home

我一定要回家

Mmmmmm, I've got to go home

嗯，我一定要回家

Let me go home

让我回家

I'm just too far from where you are

我只是离你太远

I wanna come home

我想回家

And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life

我觉得我一直生活在另一个人的世界里

It's like I just stepped outside

就象是我刚刚走出这个世界

When everything was going right

当一切事情都在顺利进展

And I know just why you could not

我知道你为什么不能

Come along with me

和我一起来

But this was not your dream

但这不是你的梦

But you always believe in me

但你总是相信我的

Another winter day has come

又一个冬天来了

And gone away

又走了

And even Paris and Rome

即使是巴黎和罗马

And I wanna go home

我要回家

Let me go home

让我回家

And I'm surrounded by a million people

我被许多人围绕

I still feel alone

我仍然感觉孤独

Oh let go home

噢，让我回家

Oh I miss you you know

噢，你知道我很想你

Let me go home

让我回家

I've had my run

我已经付出了

Baby, I'm done

宝贝，我已经完成了

I gotta go home

我一定要回家

Let me go home

让我回家

It will be all right

一切都会好起来

I'll be home tonight

今晚我就会到家

I'm coming back home

我正在回家

Better now in terms of bad and good things about me.....hahahahaha

2006-05-12 23:24

Get to have more friends loh.........my circle is getting a bit bigger and bigger. But still only dared to meet up one PLU for an outing only. Hahahaha........ Not shy anymore, dared to meet PLU on the street and club.....erm....... ok lor........ Then better than last time is I make things clear lor......Cos wanna make friends only....not like last time so headache with the LTR comes in. hahahahaha....... So like that lor....nothing special lah.......Also, don't know what I writing hahahahhahaa..... (listening to the songs "I born to make you Happy")

情爱之间

2006-04-27 22:56

总是在爱情之间停停留留 到头来还是一场空 梦醒后 回忆缠绵心中 于无能为力去挽留 总是在爱情之间停停留留 一幕幕深深伤痛了我 守候在离别的岁月中 就让我独自慢慢承受