Ok... one is who I broke off 2 years ago and the other is I have broken with him a year ago.
Yet, I still have feelings for both of them when I have a bf now.....
Worse is that I have been also telling my bf that I still have feelings for the them even though I now in love with him. He may not be the idealistic one but he is one that I feel confident and comfortable with and so far there is no drama and in fact better than all my previous bfs.
I think the highly reason is both of us had known each other for quite long (13 years), so we know where are our hot buttons which we should not touch and the boundary we would not cross over.
I have been talking to other men whom I knew from Growlr and Grindr... (Yes, have been naughty a bit and my bf knows, see I am honest!).. and my bad habit has led me to keep telling them my past love stories... LOL... because they keep saying I am good looking, hot, handsome, sexy, etc... which I tend to get tired of this compliment (inside I'm quite happy so is very contradicting for me) that force me to tell them this "If that so why all my previous bfs dump me" but nevertheless I always happy to hear that they like me pounding hard on them LOL.... (That's really boost my man's ego!!!)
Anyway, I really very glad to have my best friend as my bf. He is really a nice man and understandable person (Also very playful and naughty too). In my opinion, I think he loves me more than I do. A few weeks ago, I did catch up with my old man together with my bf. My bf and my old man are good friends, how I ended up dating with my old man was actually introduced by my bf at that time. I still have strong feelings for my old man but his current state and behaviour have reminded me that he is no longer the same old man I used to be with anymore... so move on and grab hold of your bf. Yet, I still get sexually attracted by this old man, seriously no lied.
Then to make things worse and seem like I dug another shit hole for myself. I finally sent off the gift which my previous bf told me to bought for him when I was in US. I ought to send it to him because I have crafted his name on it. It is a gift for him and so I not going to throw it away. I would want the person to decide whether to keep it or throw it. So a few days ago, he had received it and he texted me and wanted to rekindle our relationship. However, I have bf now so no way I going to dump my bf and being an asshole. Yes, this ex of my is a very sweet man who really know how to sweet talk with me. Of course, he is capable of doing that because we both has the same birthday (Scorpio! same day and month but different year). All the corresponding messages we had, seem like ended up I became an asshole to him and he is the victim. That was what my Growlr friends said to me after I shown all these messages to them. They are a couple by the way, both told me to ignore him which my bf had said the same thing to me during the New Year day when I told him I have sent a Christmas greeting message to my ex. (Sweet man). Arrgh... he really messed up my feelings that day... really....
Now I telling myself to focus on my English test and my own future which is my Master and migrating to Australia. Relationship wise let it flow... I have my good friend as my bf and he is very flexible (that's what he told me yesterday. LOL)... so I should leave that to fate and nature.
Look forward to my India trip in CNY!!!
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