Hey is end of Nov 2011.. My happy days coming soon :)

Well, 14th Nov 2011 was my last working days in J company and then out of my job for the rest of my days till 2012. Most of my time spending at home to cut down my expenses so cooking meals on my own. Any events or stuff wanna bring up here to the blog? Of course, I have else why I bother to write? LOL.

Well, lately back active to this gay social network application in iPhone. Making fling chat friends and only meet one or two for ease of release (You know what I mean do you?). Eventually, did meet up a remarkable guy, he is Singaporean Chinese 44yo and considers a muscle bear (G-man in Asian). Our first meet up was at his business shop and we had late nite supper and coffee, he is an owner company of interior design & construction. Oh yes, name him JT,  We didn't have any sex just chatting get to know each other. Everything is fine, just that puzzle me during conversation and I don't know why particular this sentence he says stuck in my brain. LOL.. he says he dates people around his age and never go to the 20s. Anyway, subsequently, we text and communicate till last Thursday. I went out for a movie which I told him in the afternoon before he comes to my place for a quickie as he has a project running nearby :). So that night after the movie with my friend and his fiancee, we went for dinner and while they queuing up for food, I was bored and switch on my gay social network apps just to look around and off when my food comes. After my dinner, I text him saying I on my way back home now. The next day when I on the apps again, saw him left a msg last nite saying "Arent you say your movie finished?" I went to SMS him say sorry I didn't saw that msg from the app, and telling him what I did last night which I had mentioned earlier. But funny stuff is why he msg me in the apps at 930pm and asking me that question? When I finished my dinner followed by an SMS to him that I on my way home is 1030pm. He replies to me in a kind of monotone way I guess, saying is ok. Yesterday, I ask him out for a movie through SMS, he replies me thanks not free. Well, I kind of make myself confused with this guy. Is he making me as his date? or we are just friends? Because I have no intention of jumping the conclusion that he and I are dating as we met only like 4 days. So that's it, no more hearing from him I guess. I still continue with my "Charlie Harper" life LOL... just that Charlie still in love with Chelsea and I still in love with JJ, and still fooling.

Lately had a few quarrels with my mum too. Not I wanted, is she always try to force her way to make me do what she wants me to do when she old. The 1st incident is her will, she came to me and discuss her will, besides leaving a small amount to my elder sis. She finds it difficult to allocate the portion between my elder brother and me. She intends to inform us upfront that whoever took care of her and live with her till her last day will have the most portion of her assets. My first thing came to my mind, what happened to my mum, had my dad drive her out of her mind. Why does she have to do that, like her two sons will only take care of her so we could have the big portion of her assets? I told her up to you, I just find you funny and inappropriate doing it that way.

The 2nd incident is unintentional, she was asking me bout what am I doing on Saturday. I told her catching a movie with my friends and coffee chat later, nothing many things we can do in Singapore and had discussed with friends that too even if we are rich normally we go overseas had fun. I mean I referring to leisure things and normally people will link that too. (Or the people I referring is people around my age and not my mum age group). She says there's plenty of things to do in Singapore and I ask what? She starts saying cleaning the house, arranging her store and kitchen and all the household stuff. I say to mum that not the things I referring and continue to told her if she talking bout that, much time I told her to sell away or give away those pots and big Kitchener items. As they took a lot of spaces in the kitchen and store, how many time she used I can tell you is once 20 years or maybe 40 years. As I have seen her do Chinese traditional cake once when I was 14yo and never see her doing it again. Then she jumps to the topic about my room, and I told her I have a month at home, I will clean and tidy when I want and I think I need. Besides, lots of stuff I can't decide and even arrange the furniture as well because is her house, not mine. It is my house, my stuff and furniture will be arranged nicely and make it easy for me to clean. She started to yell at me, say ok you want to move out then once you wealth enough moved out and had your home. I told her this is what I want since I was teenage.

I didnt told her exactly the reason why all the while I wanna move out, she always had thought that I dont want to took care of her. The other she though was because I am gay thus need a own house which is partly only. The main reason is because, she always want to be the queen or king of the house, all the house arrangement and furniture all have to follow her. So there's no way and space that I could have my own home design or furniture. She always used the words, I am the owner of the house, you have to listen to me. I still remember the scene she put up on me when I was a teenage. It was one of the thing she hurt me the most and were never forget. When I was 18yo ( yes that age, in western countries at this age, you supposed to get out of that nest and had your own life), I sharing room with my elder brother but he was not home as he was working as a full time soldier in Singapore Arm Force.  That night my mum couldnt find her reading glasses as she must have misplaced somewhere. So we look around to the common reading area she often do her reading but she came to my room and search. I told her that the glasses wont be in my room. Cos she never do her reading in my room! I told her must be in the living room or her room, she say nope and even I told her checked again. Yet she still insist looking in my room and go to a extend to my wardrobe, I was really kind of flared. I say hey mum, can I have my own privacy as you are entering beyond what you had done. She ignored and go search each and every of my drawer. I shout hey mum, stopped the search in my room, this is my room and your glasses wont be in my room. Of course she shouted back at me, and say this is her house, I have no privacy and authority in this house. Thats hurt, so even when I am 18yo now, no repect was given, they still treat me as a little boy. I was very fed up and yet I can't do anything that and oh boy, I so emotional hurt that the best I can do is always crying LOL... till she satisfied her searched complete in my room and left. I sobbed and re-arranged my stuff in the room and sobbed on bed till fall alseep. In the meantime, my mum still can yelling at the next room saying how disrepectful and how smart am I thinking I have the right to stop her from searching her stuff in her house.  Well, the next day, her reading glasses was found somewhere in a corner of the living room.
So if one day I gonna be a father of my child, I will have to give respect to my child and will ask for permission if I could touch his/her belonging. Unless, is something serious like illegal stuff hiding in his room(drugs/weapons), no choice got to bash in LOL... but for stuff like reading glasses, is just making scene out of nothing.

Did told to JJ and my now good sister whom I had knew her during my 1st oversea job, Qatar. Well, they side my mum, yes I know they just respect her and think she old and need attention so let her be and follow her will. But not from her sons, I can tell you both my elder brother and I had been overly protected by our mum and mum had always took us like we are working for her (sound like a slave). Nevetheless, she still my mum and need to take care of her no matter how bad she had done those damages to my childhood and teenage time. I just dont like her to open the old wound again and I like to be treated soft and not hard and forceful way.

Been thinking of written a new blog writing those bad awful events in my family that I always be the one who seen through and witnessed it, and make me look at my family and the members in diffrerent way,  should I or should not?

Is my Birthday... Good bye 28 and welcome 29

Yup.. today is my birthday.. another normal day with many greetings today from Facebook.
Nothing much exciting day for me, still alone single and looking at my computer.. typing and playing my Facebook game. I would make a big celebration in Dec. when I got my new company contract signed! ( Can't wait for it :D )

Wished for my birthday is - this age 28 I lost quite a few lots of important things and by turning 29 I want to get back all the things that I lost back to me, my career, my wealth and my status. Though I know my Gran will not be back,  I pray for her be happy over there and looking after me.

Sound like not a wish but more like a resolution LOL... Ever since I came back from my overseas job in Qatar from July till now. I observed a group of my friends (Are they still friends?), they are my University Classmate. When I got the job and designation as Project Engineer in NKOM (Qatar company), they will mingle with you and talk to you. Like envy of you and want to know how well and how good are your career over there. When I back Singapore, putting up on Facebook that I resigned over there due to my Grand.. only 2 or 3 close university classmate who is in my small study group (5 people) still contact me and concern about me. The rest who used to talk to me online during my time working in Qatar, when disappearing to uncontactable. Of course, I don't even bother to contact them as they don't even greet me or say hello to me online. This outcome tells me one thing, they are not your friends, they just been your friends because of your good status.

So is that the reason why I want back my good career and status? The answer is "NO"!, I want to get it back is because of I behind my competitors... And who are those competitors? They are people who around my age and been successful. I want to be a successful person in doing what I want to and want to be. As stated earlier on, I want to be like my good friends, Ari or William in a high post, with that I would say not many worries for my retirement if I planned my life correctly.

Thats all to be honest at this stage.. I focusing on career and my earning power... Love life I did want but not in my first pirority. Unless some rich handsome bear comeby and say I give what you want so dont need for me to work... Hahahahaha... Dream on and fat hope!

Today my elder brother birthday!

Well today is November... is November Birthday!!!!  First, my elder brother (4th), followed by me (8th)and then my Elder sister (9th). Don't ask why so coincidence, should go ask my parents and god.

Anyway, got a called from that Surveyor company clerk, requesting me to go for a pre-employment medical check-up next week but I requested her to make it tomorrow as next week I not able to due to holding a "Part-time temp job"... 

Next week 4 more days to go and say goodbye to my present job and patiently await for early Dec to sign my new employment contract and patiently wait till Jan 2012 start my new job as an Assistant Surveyor (Trainee). I got tell myself everything be fine, you just getting older and recently too much sad and unhappiness events thus worried things too much.

Beside worried bout my career, I need to look after my mum. She has been in depression, I can see... I need to be strong in front of her.. as all of us have given up Dad.. (For me .. he is dead). Yet, myself was not in good status now.. so are my both siblings each have their own family problems. So I really got to be strong and positive and everything be fine for me now.

How I wished I had a partner/lover around and when he knows I am in so much trouble and worries. He would come to me and say "Don't worry, anything happened I am here for you and support you".
But in reality, no not a single good friends will say that.. I would say this sentence is very touched but of course, I know it hold and mean lot of responsible to take before you can say that. But isnt that what every man and women would like to hear from their love one?